Winding, uh, I mean, whining it up...

Well, I am delighted to have won the photo of Sir Ian McKellen that he so graciously autographed for the ebay auction for Breast Cancer Research. The only trouble is that the auction ended on the 8th and as of today (the 16th), I still do not have the photograph. Given that I am in New Jersey and the photo is in Manhattan, less than 45 minutes away, this doesn't sit well with me.

Now, this is a worthy cause and the idea of obtaining such an autograph, even though it will be indirect, is a bit of a thrill for me. No denial there. I chose this way to contribute because the autograph was the draw. Even though it will be a treasure to me, I will not display it because the photograph is not flattering to Sir Ian. I think too much of him to do that.

The thing is, I would have contributed or donated anyway. So the issue is not the money. The issue is that this type of thing, this failure to follow through gives all potential contributors pause. Unfortunately, that is as it should be.

Well, perhaps I am jumping the proverbial gun. One can only hope.

In the meanwhile, I have contacted the young woman involved. She has not responded. Today, sadly, I will contact ebay...

I'll keep you posted.

Carol (Desperately hoping a re-write or a retraction will be necessary.)
** Please understand: Sir Ian was approached to autograph a photo for a cause and he oblidged. He is in no way responsible for this. Indeed, if this proves to have been a dishonest venture, he is just as much a victim as I.

86 THINGS THAT MAKE ME TICK

I saw this challenge on a blog:
Write between 75 and 100 things that make you who you are. The idea is not mine, but the list is.

1. I am ridiculously organized.
2. I love good books.
3. I love visiting and making memories of new places.
4. I love helping.
5. I love children.
6. I am still hopelessly in love with my high school sweetheart.
7. I'm convinced I have several very interesting, fun people living inside my head!
8. I love the way I feel after I have forced myself to exercise.
9. I love the ocean.
10. Rivers frighten me.
11. I love to travel.
12. From the first moment I saw him, I cry inexplicably at the sight of Ian McKellen.
13. I have been told that Ian McKellen was profoundly significant to me in another life.
14. I am a firm believer in "favorites" and "bests."
15. I am naturally ambidextrous.
16. I am an old hippie.
17. I am terrified of being homeless.
18. Having a clean house is very important to me.
19. I love my name.
20. I am not competitive when playing games but will do anything to prolong the fun.
21. "Steak and salad" is my favorite meal.
22. I love sincere people.
23. I am motivated by schedules and love planning.
24. I love crossing things off lists.
25. I love talking on the phone.
26. I love animals, but do not want a pet.
27. I hate concerts: they're too loud, too dark, and too people-filled.
28. I do not always wear sunscreen.
29. I really dig my family!
30. I like cooking more than I ever thought I would.
31. I have a crush on Sean Bean.
32. My favorite flowers are daisies.
33. I despise grocery shopping.
34. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving.
35. I want a haircut that I can fluff and go.
36. Autumn is my favorite season.
37. My two nephews inspire me to no end.
38. If I could have any job in the world, I would sing in a musical on Broadway.
39. I am 5 feet, 3.5 inches tall but always round it up to 5'4".
40. I love taking long walks alone.
41. I am extremely expressive with my face.
42. When I read books aloud, I voice and animate the characters.
43. My favorite cold treat is Chocolate Chip Ice Cream.
44. My favorite hot treat, besides tea, is my homemade Ginger Carrot Soup.
45. I enjoy outside chores like washing my car, mowing the lawn, gardening, and re-staining the deck...
46. I love people who are on time and become frustrated with those who are late.
47. I have begun to embrace my personal history.
48. I went to Woodstock… and spent a lot of time at Studio 54.
49. Whenever I stop to notice a plane flying overhead, I always wish I were on it.
50. I love starting my day by watching the TODAY show.
51. I love to entertain.
52. I wish I had become an actress.
53. I am addicted to a few select Websites.
54. Blogging is much easier for me than keeping a journal.
55. I love the Internet and do not know how I functioned without it.
56. I can be very nostalgic and sentimental.
57. I am OK with life's occasional good-bye's. (Probably a throw back from my days as a foster child.)
58. I think I would make a fantastic interviewer because I am notoriously curious!
59. I will turn off a show or movie I am enjoying if I hate the commercials supporting it.
60. I suck at crossword puzzles and scrabble. It is a tremendous source of embarrassment to me.
61. I find a bad movie unforgivable.
62. I dream of owning and running a Bed and Breakfast to satisfy my love of entertaining.
63. I am currently writing a terrific story.
64. I like supporting locally-owned establishments.
65. I always try to use proper grammar, and I never feel that I have adequately succeeded.
66. I believe in stereotypes.
67. I favor organic foods.
68. I love teaching myself things that intimidate me (HTML) and feel proud when I master it.
69. I have a storage unit full of things that I have not seen in 10 years. (However, it is organized perfectly.)
70. I love email.
71. I love being at a stadium to watch sports (especially soccer and B-ball), but hate watching games on TV. Except for hockey. I detest hockey all the time!
72. I love being productive.
73. I love writing, even when I am writing lists about what to write!
74. I am desperately unhappy with where our country is headed.
75. I am so terrified of going to the dentist that I need to tranquilizers for 2 days before I go.
76. I love all things Celtic.
77. I dream of someday living in a cottage in the Scottish Highlands.
78. I will never have plastic surgery.
79. If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I know I once lived in Scotland.
80. I have recently committed to write 500 words a day.
81. I love the OUTLANDER Series by Diana Gabaldon.
82. I always have music playing and it usually acts as a soundtrack.
83. I love little shops and quaint villages with little family owned shops and detest mall shopping.
84. I never pay full retail for anything!
85 I can squeeze a dollar until the eagle cries!
86. I volunteer my time and skills whenever I can.

A MADISON COUNTY EVENT!

For Connie

Whenever I would spend time with my beloved pal, Connie, there was always a towering pile or an overflowing tote of reading material close by. It was our intense need to devour the written word that introduced us seventeen years ago and immediately sealed our bond as girlfriends. We’d share stories, articles, novels, science projects, recipes, medical advice, you name it. We’d read it and proclaim ourselves overnight experts on any subject that dared to challenge us. Very few writers passed our stringent expectations and those who did became our immediate heroes. We spent many an hour picking their style and cadence apart until we’d discovered every literary trick they had up their proverbial sleeves.

Connie and I knew we had a good thing going. We’d meet at least once a week for lunch and about twice a month for dinner to chat about our hobby, uh, passion, uh, obsession…all right, addiction. No matter what the discussion, debate or argument, we’d always end the meeting by acknowledging how lucky we were to have found a partner with whom we could freely share our secret worlds of words.

Unbeknownst to me, however, this calm, sophisticated air of intellect and debate was about to change in a most profound way.


Connie’s desperation to speak to me one Sunday morning after Service was palpable. She vigorously made her way through the meanderers lingering about the church aisles and took hold of my forearm. Hastening me away from the pastor, she interrupted his efforts to guide me in selecting the next week's music.

In a hushed but deliberate tone, she instructed me as only a teacher can. “Put aside everything else you are reading and read this book first. The Bridges of Madison County. Got that? The Bridges of Madison County. Stop and get it on the way home. It’s an easy read. You’ll be done with it by tonight and then we can talk. I will phone you at about 8 o’clock to discuss it.” She went on to say it was the story of a photographer – a National Geographic photographer - who had found love while on assignment. Connie knew what a sap I was for a wonderful love story. She also knew I had begun a lifelong love affair with National Geographic when I was a teenager. Insisting it was a book that had been written with my psyche in mind, she said it was my kind of read. Trusting that she knew my likes and dislikes as well as I knew them myself, I did not question her authority.

I knew what I had to do; Barnes and Noble made a sale that day.

Upon my arrival home, I put the kettle on and changed my clothes. In order to read the perfect book, one must be completely unconstrained and have all significant creature comforts close by. This was going to require that I brew a large pot of tea. I freshened up the sugar bowl and sliced a plump, fresh lemon. Then I selected my favorite mug from the cabinet and made up a tray to take to my study. I placed it strategically on the table next to my reading chair. Next, I turned off the phone and the computer. I selected Bach to accompany my read and inserted several hours' worth into the CD player. My favorite fuzzy throw was the last item on my list. I picked it up and made my way to the sanctity of my favorite chair for a reader’s version of an afternoon delight.


As I made my way through the character introductions of the first few chapters, my brow became more and more furrowed, my glasses needed constant adjusting on my nose and I could not seem to keep from fidgeting. I cannot imagine why Connie would have told me this was the book I had been waiting for; I just don’t get it. This is not the fine writing in which we are typically interested... It was all I could do to keep from being completely distracted from the story by Waller's high-schoolish style, or lack of style as the case may be. She does not know me at all, I fretted. ...And after all this time together, talking books. Go figure. I consoled myself by deciding that it was the story itself and not Waller’s writing that she wanted me to seek after. I did as was expected of me.

Before dinner, I was approaching the final chapters and took a moment to refresh myself. On my way back from a trip to the necessary room, I deliberately crossed my study to turn my phone back on. Connie would soon be calling. While standing at my desk fussing with the phone, I picked up a handful of tissues in anticipation of where the story was clearly headed. They sat next to my empty teapot awaiting their turn to be my significant creature comfort.

As the story and the day drew to an end, I had become consumed by the emotions stirred up by this story and the two people about whom it was written. It didn't seem right to subject them to the harsh glare of my halogen reading light. I lit one single candle, in their honor, and let it burn while I dabbed my flooding eyes and pulled my throw over me. Curling up into the barrel of the chair, without realizing it, I assumed a fetal position. Seems Mr. Waller was not the literary klutz I had originally presumed him to be!


It was the ringing of the phone that awakened me. Connie knew I’d have finished the book by nightfall and wanted to hear my thoughts. I wept as I shared my torn feelings of compassion and disdain for both the author and the couple. Honoring or condoning adultery on any level caused a dichotomy within me.

As we concluded our conversation, I outlined my plans to get to the library first thing in the morning. I felt the need to weed through old issues of National Geographic until I found a photograph of this phantom photographer. It seemed odd that his name did not ring a bell with me. The suspense of not knowing his face was driving me quite mad with an insanely morbid curiosity.

For some reason, Connie found this amusing.

I didn’t care, though. Next morning, I leapt out of bed in anticipation of the day. After hurriedly consuming my morning pot of java, I enthusiastically made tracks for the library and my personal version of heaven: hundreds of issues of National Geographic!

For some reason, the librarian had been expecting me, and … she was amused.

It hit me as I sat at my table in the research room clumsily trying to balance a teetering pile of slippery yellow magazines. The research Librarian had also seemed to be expecting me and also seemed to be... amused. It was an impeccably planned, flawlessly executed practical joke. Connie, my serious friend, my bossy, opinionated, teacher friend had pulled it off. And I, her streetwise, instinct-proud, sentimental friend, had risen to the bait. I took hold of it: hook, line, and sinker.

It further dawned on me that it was more probable than possible that she shared her expectations for my unwitting victimization with more than just the two librarians.


As you can well imagine, Connie turned out to have been one of the most significant women in my life. We shared many a practical joke after that – on both the giving end as well as the receiving. We dubbed that particular one our “Madison County Event.” Through the years we often referred to it, laughing each and every time as though it was all brand new to us.


My dear, delightful Connie is gone now, but the memories of her and of that magnificent "Madison County Event" still linger warmly in my heart. I think of her often and most especially whenever The Bridges of Madison County or National Geographic or Robert James Waller unceremoniously come to mind.

____________________________


A few years ago, while on a weekend trip with my friend Barb, in celebration of my 50th birthday, I visited the covered bridges of Lancaster County in Pennsylvania. I do not recall whether or not I mentioned Connie or shared stories of her, but she was there, in my heart, and for some reason… I was amused.


CM

3/1/2006
© Copyright 2006,2007 Carol Marsella. All rights reserved.

There, but for the grace of God...

If you substitute foster father and foster mother, and realize that I did not meet up with the same end, I could have written this poem:

My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my Mommy
Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all,
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long.

When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.

When my Mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.

I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.

He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!" I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me.

A comic of Comics...

My little one and I spent the day together, just the two of us. One of the things we did was to make use of our photo editing gadget and tell a story comic-book style. What a blast we had. I cannot remember laughing so hard. She made up a terrific story that was fun and funny, witty and clever! What a thrill or me to see this very special story-telling talent in her!

The icing on the proverbial cake was at bedtime, when I was tucking her in. She pulled me close and whispered in my ear that she had written in her diary about our day together and put her writing into her special things box as a keepsake memory along with the comic.

It just does not get better than this!

Carol

I HAVE BEEN RELEASED!

I still don't like getting old but this somewhat puts it in perspective. While I did not write it, I could have and indeed have often written things so much like it that when I received it today, I thought it was mine, having made the cyber-rounds and come back to me. Frankly, I am still not altogether sure.

~o0o~

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question that I would ponder and let her know.

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 and 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over the memory of a lost love .. I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances and foolhardy snickers from the young'uns.

They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And eventually I remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? Broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (But ony if I feel like it!)

PILOT's FOLLY

Every once in a while, I receive these emails just like everyone else. I decided to share the one that arrived today because, as someone who enjoys flitting about the globe as much as I do, it is one of my all time favorites. I'd read it a few years ago, when it was attributed to Quantas Air Lines, and enjoyed it just as much today as I did then. Maybe moreso. (Thanks Cat and Jess!)

If you've read it before, or if you're reading it for the first time...

Enjoy!

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, UPS (United Parcel Service) has their pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then the pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.


And the best one for last..................

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Hope that made you smile!
Have a great day. I will post more tomorrow.

Carol

STILL BEANMUSED After All These Months...

I had a wonderful email discussion a few days ago with an online friend about roles in which we might like to see Sean Bean.

I have given this a lot of thought (too much thought, if I am to be truthful) and have decided that I would like to see Sean Bean in the part of Robert Langdon (the Tom Hanks role) in The DaVinci Code.

Now before you go off getting your knickers in a knot, hear me out: I quite enjoyed The DaVinci Code. Thought it was done beautifully. In fact, it was a complete mystery to me that some reviewers claim to have been disappointed that it was not a more action packed, race 'em/chase 'em kind of film. Apparently, they'd been looking for a more exciting theatrical experience. But I found it intelligent and thought provoking, just like the book. For action and excitement, I was extremely satisfied with National Treasure, which conveniently brings me back to Sean Bean.

First off, I think he and Ron Howard might have enjoyed and benefited greatly from working together. If you consider they are both genius in their work and add the notion that they appear to maintain polar opposite ideas of what is entertaining, and combine that with what we already know about their work ethic and ability to listen to and value professional, artistic input from each other, it's clear that a collaboration between these two would have made for a spectacular outcome.

TDC certainly would have been a very different film with Sean Bean as Langdon. For starters, the complete lack of sexual tension between the male and female leads would have provided such powerful anxiety... well, I believe it would have provided the catapult Bean so desperately needs for US filmmakers to catch on to his steamy screen prowess. It's no secret that they need their hands held. (Overall, with the obvious exceptions of Lucas, Spielberg, and Howard, they do not know what they are doing.)

So let's give Sean a wonderful story with a role such as Robert Langdon and have him walk them through it, shall we?

As indicated in my role preference scenario, let's have Sean escort the audience on a sensual journey where the aforementioned sexual tension is perceived by the audience instead of splashed boringly across the screen as he is oft required to do... I am stressing the profoundness of the cliche "why buy the cow when one can get the milk for free?". Instead of giving it up in nearly every film, this time I'd like to see Bean leave them wanting more. The clearly male notion that nudity is always what the audience wants is such a foolhardy insult to the intellect and creative imagination of the audience! Someone else's interpretation is never as good as one's own.

Picture this win/win outcome: Instead of exiting theaters fanning feverishly while announcing that Sean Bean is hot, women will instead be exiting theaters completely unaware, at first, that they will not be able to get him out of their heads. Their clamoring to see him again will most assuredly catch the watchful eyes of the powers-that-be who will then pat themselves black and blue on their collective backs while their brazenly expensive PR firms denominate the ensuing pandemonium: The Sean Bean Phenomenon! Oh lordy, I can see it all now!

CHECK AND MATE!

THEN... On the heels of that, I would like to see him in the role I believe to have been written for him.

My ultimate dream part for Sean Bean...

In a perfect world, Sean would play Jamie Fraser in *OUTLANDER which would be produced by the BBC as a series of about 12 films and run over a period of somewhere between six months to a year. He would start as a young Sean (think Storyteller) and magically age 20 years at the appropriate time. If anyone could do this, it's Sean Bean. I would trust no one else to play a much beloved character such as Jamie Fraser. (Oh and I, of course, would be Claire Randall Fraser. *cough, chortle, cough* This is in a perfect world, right?)

It would have to be the BBC because they are infinitely more responsible with literature than US film makers. Sad but blatantly true.


Carol
Anyone have Sean Bean's phone number? I owe him a couple of Thank You's anyway...
*Outlander By Diana Gabaldon

The ACCIDENTAL SONG!

It never fails to escape me that, thanks to the Internet and blogs, I am now able to broadcast my disdain when service is not what it ought to be. Just last week, for instance, I ranted, raved and, in general, blathered on about AT&T, Verizon, Sears and other assorted retailers. My complete dissatisfaction with a local bank had not escaped publication either.

For me, an entire topic of eternal questions keeping me awake at night is: When did the customer become the enemy? In that mental folder, if you will, I place all the little questions that bog me down, like: Don’t they want to sell their product to me? Why do they hate me so? How much of my phone battery must I use up listening to their adverts and holding-on before I get to ask my question?

I think, therefore, that it is only fair to make an announcement:
There are still some folks who not only excel at customer service, they truly enjoy what they do.

(No, this is not a fantasy/science fiction entry, why do you ask?)


___________________________



This afternoon, I stepped outside to find that I had a flat tire. Disgruntled, I dialed the number for Audi Roadside Assistance. I had purchased the contract when I bought my car and this was my first time needing to use it. I wondered if it would be worth the trouble. In the past, whenever I needed a service of this kind, I usually ended up so aggravated that I ended up calling a garage on my own and paying for the help I needed rather than deal with my insurance company's so-called customer service. Enough said about that, because today was different.

Today, Jessica answered the phone on the first ring and was about as pleasant as a cool fresh breeze on a sweltering summer day. (Oh, hush. I know it’s cliché. It is also true!) She took my particulars in record time without once asking me to repeat anything, not even the lengthy, often confusing alpha/numeric Vehicle Identification Number. Impressed, I could feel my eyebrows rise and my chin lower as she confidently moved on to the next series of questions. We confirmed that I was indeed who I said I was, and then began the inch-by-inch identification process of the vehicle itself. With all that asked and answered, she repeated the car’s physical description back to me, inadvertently making it rhyme. My quiet chortle was not lost on her. Before I knew it, we had ourselves in stitches trying unsuccessfully to one-up each other.

Don't believe me? Here is a partial result of our efforts:

I had me a flat tire today
Wait'n for me on my Gunmetal Gray
Oh-4 A-4 Cabriolet!

If there's one thing I cannot abide
Smirking at me when I get to my ride,
Oh drat! 'S a flat! Left front. Driver side!

We went on for some time, but I don't need to write it all; you get the picture.

Corny? Yes. Fun? You bet. Now this might not sound like much to you, but from my point of view, it was positively brilliant! Hell, I had a flat tire. When I initiated the call, I was upset at the inconvenience and worried that I was facing the possibility that I would need to make a very expensive, unbudgeted purchase. By the time my call with Jessica reached its conclusion, I was happy and, quite frankly, over it. She made me laugh and I appreciated that.

Well done, Jessica!

I am not even going to tell you about how breathtakingly handsome and charming the mechanic was... or that he showed up at my house in ten minutes, fixed the car in five, and refused a tip. I'm figuring I must have done something good somewhere this past week...

CM

*Disclaimer: My only affiliation with Audi is that I am a customer.

©2007 Carol Marsella. Carol Marsella grants Boggles the Mind, Newprose, and its affiliates non-exclusive rights to display this work. This article may not be used or distributed electronically or in print without express permission from the author.

CAN'T HELP MYSELF...

I am so delighted with this video of Sean Bean, my muse for Logan...
He is on ABC's ROSIE O'DONNELL SHOW discussing LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING



Thanks to Destiny for this!

I particularly like the end where he says, "I'll have another one" and then plays with the action figures like a little boy... I saw a clip of Ian McKellen doing the same thing with his action figure from LOTR... Absolutely charming. (Steve would do the same thing...) Uh... wouldn't those action figures be lovely items for my keepsake box?

You Tube Credit goes to: mirorimij (Title: Sean Bean Interview)

--o0o--

Next up is a video of him being interviewed by FRANK SKINNER in two parts. These are hilarious. Looked like both men had a terrific time with this and I enjoyed them immensely. Give 'em a look. Love the action figure play again. Sean makes reference to the one he received from Rosie.



YouTube Credit for the Frank Skinner Interview Parts 1 & 2 goes to: Govi20

I was truly captivated while Sean Bean spoke of his decision to become an actor...



Once again, I have to thank Destiny for these.

ROMANCE ON CAPE COD (With a Chaser!)

It's been a while since I have blogged here.

Been away for a while. Steve surprised me with a trip to Cape Cod, just the two of us. It was romantic, magical, and refreshing. We slept in every morning, walked streets lined with art galleries and specialty shops filled with seashore momentoes, read books without interruptions, and made love before during and after ...

It's funny how one forgets how exciting, and renewing it is to simply make love at random, unscheduled, typically unusual times in random, unscheduled, tyypically unusual places. I seem to have fallen in love with him all over again.

Will write more as soon as I come back to reality but, frankly, I am resisting the return.

Carol, in love...

PS: Steve and I met up with Chase and Jordan. What a hoot! We had a blast with them! Will write more about that and Cape Cod another day.

An Excerpt from BEHIND THE WALL

Logan pulled his SUV up to the little cottage, turned off the ignition and sat in silence for a moment or two before disembarking and approaching the door. When there was no response to his knock, reflexively he tried the latch; it was unlocked. He toyed briefly with the idea of coming back later but the simple truth of it was that he could not leave. Knowing this might upset Cassie yet unable to reconcile his feelings of trepidation and longing, Logan entered her house.

As he moved through the vestibule and into the hallway, even though it had been less than two weeks since he'd been there, he had the bitter sweet sensation of the distant warmth and familiarity one experiences when he visits the childhood home he'd left long ago.

With a barrage of memories assailing him, he moved through the darkened cottage. His breath caught in his throat as he stepped into the library alcove. The overstuffed sofa where they had so often lain entwined reading and discussing books was unnervingly disheveled, its down-filled pillows tossed to the floor. The woven silk blanket Cassie had always treated with such care had been wadded like a piece of crumbled paper and likewise discarded, shoved under the table. Standing menacingly close to the edge was a bottle of Pinot Grigio, opened but untouched. One of the glasses they had bought at the estate sale was lying on its side in the center of the table, its rim cracked. He smiled resolutely as he bent down and, with a gentle puff of his breath, extinguished a double-wicked candle that had been carelessly left burning. Next to it he eyed a book of matches and a silver bowl containing an obscure love note Jamie had written to Cassie and several photos of the two of them. The antique pewter frame in which Cassie had encased her favorite photo of Jamie had been taken apart, its pieces discarded haphazardly; there was no sign of the photo. Logan sat on the sofa, leaned back and heaved a heavy sigh as he assessed the scene laid out before him. Eventually his gaze made its way to the fireplace. He hadn't noticed until now that the painting of the cottage was missing from its perch above the mantle, the poker likewise missing from its hook.

As he entered the living room he discovered the missing poker lying on the floor in the center of the room, its pointed end proximal to the painting which had been set upright with its back against the settee. A disbelieving breath escaped Logan's lips as he drew his hand to his brow and down the length of his face. He blinked back the moisture in his eyes and cleared his throat as he continued his survey of every gut wrenching detail.

As he continued numbly through the house, he found the kitchen uncharacteristically pristine, though the aloe plant was in dire need of water. The sun-room door to the garden had been left wide open. He descended the three steps to close it but as the cool night air caressed him, he suddenly turned and hastened back though the house to the stairway that led to Cassie's bedroom.

He bounded the steps as though he were being chased but he paused at the top and entered cautiously. He closed his eyes as he basked in the scent of her perfume. The moonlight glaring through her window illuminated the bed which looked as though it had not been touched since he'd been there, except that this pillow had been removed. So had the patchwork blanket he'd given her. Overtaken by vivid memories of the two of them wrestling in the throws of passion, he sat on the bed taking her pillow into his arms. Clutching it to his middle, he rocked inconsolably, his flooding eyes fixed on the crescent moon.

Resolved to being systematically eliminated from her life, a despairing Logan eventually made his way back downstairs. He'd decided to leave her alone; he would not hurt her anymore.

Mechanically, he located a small box from the studio and began to pack some of his things: Paintbrushes, CD's, his camera, a couple of shirts. He remembered the small photo of the two of them that Cassie had kept on the windowsill in the kitchen and went to retrieve it; it was a surefire bet she would not miss it.

He hadn't intended to touch anything except to take his things, but the drooping aloe plant was begging for water. Believing she would not notice, he removed it from the sill, lowered it to the basin and was instantly afforded a clear view of the garden and his easel. It dawned on him how much he'd invested in this relationship. He'd never given himself over to anyone like this. He had made this woman his reason for living and her little cottage his home. Refusing harborage to the pain that once again threatened to overtake him, he let the water run into the watering can to set, relieved the plant of a dead stalk and decided he needed to remove the easel. She'd probably be grateful to be rid of it.

He shook the water off his hands, dried them on the dishtowel and made his way to the garden. As he began to turn the wing nut on the easel, he was distracted by a rustling sound behind him. Turning toward it, he was stunned by what he saw.




~~~~~~~





There was Cassie sound asleep in the Victorian hammock with the patchwork quilt hanging off her legs. He furrowed his brow as he moved silently toward her drinking in the sight. Looking down at her, his eyes widened as his heart broke with joy. She was wearing the white nightgown he'd bought for her, her loosened hair cascading over her shoulders. She was clutching his pillow to her breast and in her right hand she held the deframed photo of Jamie that had been her favorite. Two of the DVD's that had been sent to her in that cursed box were on her lap still in their sealed cases. Unable to help himself, Logan bent down and kissed her tenderly on her forehead. "I'm here now," he whispered. She turned toward his kiss and sleepily sighed affirmation that she had heard him, "Jamie..."

He lifted the blanket over her being careful not to wake her, left the easel where it was, and made his way to the house. His eyes softened and the corner of his mouth lifted as he turned around to look at her before stepping inside. He would come back in the morning.

As he was deciding whether to place his things back from where he'd retrieved them, he heard the garden door open and close.

Cassie had awakened and wrapped herself in the blanket. Momentarily unsure whether she was still dreaming as she entered to find him standing in her library, she beamed at the sight of him. "Jamie!" She cried as he turned toward her, his arms outstretched. But her bright eyes and beaming smile vanished as the agonizing reality of all that had transpired between them hit hard. Her voice caught in her throat as she corrected herself. "Jamie... Lo--gan... Jamm... Oh my God," she sobbed bitterly, "I don't even know your name. I don't know what to call you..." She stepped toward him and with her open palms began to pound upon upon his chest. "You bastard... Why did you do this to me? Why? What kind of a man are you? I loved him... You bastard. How could you..." She raised her fisted hands into the air as though she wanted to strike him but froze, incapable of doing so.

Logan grabbed her wrists to calm her. His proximity and his touch were unbearably painful to her. Cassie tried to pull away from him but as she turned to twist out of his grasp, she merely succeeded in wrapping his arms around her. With Logan holding her wrists, her arms crossed against her chest and her back drawn into him, the warmth of his body penetrated her hysteria. She no longer had any fight left in her. Her knees buckled as she collapsed into his embrace, utterly broken, desperately mourning the loss of Jamie. "I can't do this. It hurts too much," her sobs turning to whimpers. "This is my nightmare... How could you... This is my nightmare."

Logan cradled her softly whispering words of comfort as he gently lowered himself to the floor. Emboldened by the realization that she had not stopped loving him, he kissed her face as he stroked her hair. "I'm here now; it's all right. Don't cry, Cassie. It's going to be all right now." It was him she loved and there would be a way to show her that. This was not the end for them; he would see to it.


CM
Copyright © 2007 Carol Marsella, BEHIND THE WALL. Newprose.org. All rights reserved.

FOOTBALL, FLOODS, and FORGOTTEN GRATITUDE

So not only do they bet on the outcome of the games, they also bet on the outcome of the verdict. No, this is not news. The interesting news appears just below:

Just saw this on: READABET dot COM

A gamble is developing on the possibility of a 21-team Premiership next season, according to Ladbrokes.

Sheffield United learn their fate next week and plenty of the Harrow-based firm's punters are anticipating good news for the Blades - an extended top flight has been backed into 4/1 from 5/1.

Ladbrokes spokesman, Nick Weinberg, said: "The curtain appears to be coming down on the Carlos Tevez saga. And our customers certainly think there's a very real possibility of an encore for Sheffield United next term."

The Blades are 7/2 to go further than West Ham in the FA Cup and the same price to last longer in next season's League Cup.

It would be so nice to see this thing come properly to fruition. I want things to stay as fair as possible in Football. I know it's far more trendy to let money rule the game.. but then where is the sport?

While we are all on pins and needles awaiting this outcome, Steve and our son James in particular, will be so happy if Sheffield United is returned to Premiership Status. And Steve could use a little sunshine just now. Meanwhile, I am grateful for the public stance that fairness will prevail.

Until the official announcement, we still wait.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

On another note, we were a little red-faced and a lot guilt stricken after we complained that the rain we experienced the other evening caused our newly stained deck to become sticky and need redoing. News from the UK of the flooding in England as well as news across the US of the flooding on and about the Texas/Oklahoma border put us back in our place right quick! Made us realize that we should not need reminders in order to be thankful for all that we have! So sad to see so many folks put out of their homes. My hopes and prayers for those involved are that family members are not separated from one another as they were in New Orleans. Knowing my Steve, we'll be involved in clean up somewhere!

In New Jersey, we have had bits of rain on and off for the past week, but it's been a pleasant respite from the unusually high temperatures. The rain has also assured that the flora are magnificent this year; for that I am truly thankful. Matter of fact, I am headed out to the gardens right now... with a spirit of gratitude...



Stay safe!
CM
--
Alba go bragh!

"Life is no brief candle. It's a sort of splendid torch, so make it burn as bright as possible." --George Bernard Shaw

JUST INCASE YOU NEED A LITTLE INSPIRATION

This man singing is Paul Potts.



jacero10 said: (And I most emphatically agree!)
One thing that comes to me, after being focused on this performance for the past week, is the need to be in regular contact with beauty in whatever form that may mean for each of us. It is time to turn off our tv's and actually live our own lives, pursue our hobbies, take long walks in the country with friends and loved ones. This is what the technogimmick centered modern world is so hungering for!!

Hope that lifted your spirits and encouraged & inspired you as it has me.

CM

TO DO LIST... Seussically Speaking

TO DO:

Trash out.
Rosa In.
Boxes to recycling.
Old clothing to bin.

Clean up basement.
Organize Shelf.
Then get my book
And enjoy myself.

Packages to Post.
Monies to banks.
Write the cards
That express my thanks.

Ignoring the book
Won't get me a deal.
Got to face Logan;
How daunting it feels!

Second trip to the grocer,
Forgot to buy milk.
Stop in for petrol,
Been days since that bilk.

One kid's at Soccer.
Another's in a play.
Steve forgot wallet.
No matter; I'll pay.

Some time at the gym.
On to the Salon.
Meet with designer
To do our new lawn.

Laundry's perpetual.
Dry cleaner's my friend.
Wondering already
When this day will end.

Dinner for family.
Schedules to keep.
Poor little Liam
Cannot fall asleep.

Steve'll be home early
Looking for fun.
I'd better get ready
I really must run...

Silly, I know, but it started out so innocently and developed a kiddy-rhyme mind of its own. Hey, at least it made the list somethig I could remember...

Lay-da,
CM

TO CHEER US ALL UP WHILE WE ARE WAITING...

This should help us all to smile while we await the %*$(*&^ footy decision.
CM

HURRY UP AND WAIT!

From the UK: I am editing this for space but you may read the entire article at BBC SPORTS here:

Blades must wait on appeal ruling
Author not noted

Sheffield United will be kept on tenterhooks to see if their appeal against relegation from the Premier League has been successful.
Blades plc chairman Kevin McCabe says the arbitration panel hearing their challenge will deliver a verdict: "by the end of the month, maybe sooner."
United want to be reinstated after West Ham breached player ownership rules.
After the panel finished hearing the challenge, McCabe said: "It's been a very complicated case, and the panel are going away to review the evidence and submissions. All three parties had the opportunity to present their cases clearly to the panel and we look forward to the handing-down of the decision of the panel in due course. It would be inappropriate to comment further until a decision has been made."
McCabe has always been adamant the panel will rule in favour of his club over a saga that started back in March.
In that month, West Ham were found guilty by an independent committee set up by the Premier League of acting improperly and withholding vital documentation over the Argentine pair's ownership but they escaped a points deduction and Tevez was allowed to continue playing.
He and Mascherano were part-owned by a third party but the Hammers then ended that agreement, which satisfied the Premier League.
Tevez was one of the major factors in the club's late escape - scoring a goal on the final day of last season at Manchester United to help the Hammers stay up.
The Blades finished on the same number of points as fourth-from-bottom Wigan but were relegated on goal difference.
"I think the Premier League wish the arbitration was not happening," McCabe said last week. "But in the knowledge it is happening and it cannot be prevented, then if the decision is overturned we should be reselected to the Premier League.
"Since we really looked into the whys and the wherefores of the Tevez affair it became apparent that a wrong decision was made."

Well, that's it for now. All we can do is wait and see. At least the Panel is not taking this lightly.

JUST FOOLING AROUND WITH MY COMPUTER...

First Name:	Carol
Middle Name:	Mac
Birthday:	11/2
Eyes:	Brown
Hair:	Brown/Gray
Fav color:	Aqua Blue
Day/Night:	Both
Fave Food:	Fresh Veggies from my gardens
FRIENDS AND LIFE
Do you ever wish you had another name?	Nope. But I do like my nicknames: Cassie and Cookie.
Do you like anyone?	I like everyone
Which one of your friends acts the most like you?	Barb
Who's the loudest?	Lydia
Who have you known the longest of your friends?	Liz
Who's the shyest:	Andrea
Are you close to any family members?	Of course
When you cried the most:	When my daughter died
What's the best feeling in the world:	Laughing - HA! You thought I was going to say something else, didn't you?
Worst Feeling:	Heartbreak/Lonliness
FINISH EACH SENTENCE:
Let's walk on the:	Moon.
Let's run through:	the surf.
Let's look at the:	other side of this...
What a nice:	ass.
Where did all the:	straight men go?
Why can't you:	just hand me the credit card?!
Silly, little:	Chrissy!
Tell me:	a story...
HAVE YOU:
Ran away from home:	Yup.
Pictured your crush naked:	Yup.
Skipped school:	Nope.
Broken someone's heart:	Yup.
Been in love:	Yup Yup Yup...
Cried when someone died:	Yes, but not until I was alone with Steve. What kind of a question is that?
Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have:	Madly! I have always been a dreamer~
Done something embarrassing:	Too embarrassing to think about it.
Done a drug:	Yup.
Cried in school:	Yup.
RANDOM
Your Good Luck Charm:	I am everyone else's good luck charm. However, I do have a lucky cap and footy shirt I wear when there is a game...
Best Thing That Has Happened:	MY Family!
Ice Cream:	Chocolate Chip... mmmmm...
Makes you smile:	My Family!
Has A Crush On You:	Sean Bean. I am a dreamer, remember?
Do You Have A Crush On Someone:	Yes. Sean Bean! Try to keep up.
HAVE YOU EVER
Fallen for your best friend?:	No.
Made out with JUST a friend?:	Yes.
Kissed two people in the same day?:	Yes.
Had sex with two different people in the same day?:	No.
Been rejected: .	Yes.
Been in love?:	Most definitely.
Been used?:	Most definitely.
Done something you regret?:	Oh yeah!
Cheated on someone?:	Never done that. Bad form.
Been called a tease:	Yes. And, hopefully, I will be called that again!
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
You touched?:	Steve
You talked to on the phone?:	Andrea
You hugged?:	Chrissy
You instant messaged?:	My cousin, Mark
You kissed?:	Chrissy
You yelled at?:	I don't yell.
Who text messaged you?:	My cousin, Mark
Who broke your heart?:	Sean Bean... because he's taking so long to get here.
Who told you they loved you?:	My little Chrissy... But Sean loves me too; he's just quiet about it.

Okay, this was a lot of fun. Steve will smile and shake his head when he reads the references to Sean Bean. My kids will shake their heads too, but they will not smile... which will make me smile. See how clever I am?

Speaking of Mr.Bean, today we should hear something about the footy verdict. (Please God...)

CM - feeling silly today

GROWING PAINS

A few weeks ago, my recent high school graduate, Faith, had a date with a young man whom I shall call "Radar" for reasons that shall become obvious as the story unfolds.

She'd had a crush on this young man for quite some time and was very excited that he had finally asked her out. I well remember the feeling.

In spite of the notion that it is hip and trendy for young men and women to meet at their date destination, Faith's father and I have different ideas. He came to the house to pick her up. Everyone commented, after they left, on how nice he seemed. Well everyone except me; I remained mostly quiet until Steve and I were alone. "He seems nice enough," I said, "but my radar went off like gangbusters. Bells and whistles - the whole kaboodle. I got an uncomfortable vibe from him. I'm not saying I don't like him, just that I am going to keep my eyes and ears open where he is concerned."

Steve nodded acknowledgement of my feelings. We've been together long enough for him to know that I have a keen instinct about people. Discernment. In truth, I have never been wrong when it comes to my sense of a person. It does not often happen that I do not like someone, but when it does happen, it's powerful. I have never abused it and Steve learned, years ago, to trust and pay due attention when this happens. That said, he did ask me to refrain from speaking to Faith just yet. I agreed with him seeing the wisdom in allowing her to learn to to trust her own developing sense of people in the adult world.

On Thursday, she and I were conversing while I was preparing dinner. She'd come in to to say hi after having been out all day with her friends. As the discussion progressed to "Radar", she got a dreamy-eyed look on her face that sent a cold chill up my spine.

"Faith," I started, knowing full well that I was going against the agreement I had made with Steve to stay out of it. "I am not so sure about this guy. I can't put my finger on it, darling, but he set my radar off. Every alarm I have was reacting to him the entire time he was here. Please be careful around him." I tried to be matter-of-fact. What I really wanted to say was... Well, if you are a parent, you already know; if you are not a parent, you will not understand.

"You don't like him, Mom?" She looked honestly distressed at the thought I might not like this young man.

"It's not that I don't like him..." I tried to explain myself without stomping on her teenage heart by telling her the real truth, which was that I felt a sense that he did not maintain a trustworthy character. Besides, I was beginning to become concerned over how I was going to tell Steve I had gone back on my word. As I continued, I tried to make light of it. "More like I feel uncomfortable for some reason. Look, I am not suggesting you don't see him, only that you promise me you will keep your eyes wide open where he is concerned. Will you promise me that?"

She agreed with a smile and a hug as she reassured me he was a great guy and she knew I was saying this because I loved her. She then went on to remind me that I met her father in High School and we had our ups and downs in the beginning. I think it was supposed to be comforting. But I was not comforted; I just knew I was right about this guy. Frankly, her comparing him to her father made me want to scream! But I didn't. I smiled.

When Steve came home, I told him what I had done and, thank God, he said he was glad. The more he'd thought about it, the more he realized he had noticed a thing or two about Radar that he did not like as well. Before the evening had ended, Michael stopped in for a brief visit and he said that he too had processed a weird vibe from his sister's big date. And we let her leave with this guy??

--o0o--

Yesterday, I was unloading groceries from the car when Faith rang my cell. "Mom, I just wanted to tell you that you were right."

I knew immediately that she was not alone and that she was speaking of that young man. "About Radar?" I asked just to confirm, not so much what she was talking about as much as my sense that she was not alone.

"Uh, yeah. You were right... about a lot of things." She was clearly upset but her voice was too calm for me to be concerned that she was in any danger, though I have to admit that the sentence addendum had me perplexed.

Still, I had to ask, "I get the feeling that you are not alone, Faith; do you want your father or your brothers to come to where you are?"

Thankfully, she giggled. "No, Mom. I am fine; just a little stung and kind of embarrassed in front of my friends. I am going to Amelia's for a while to talk it out with her, but I'll call you in a little while to tell you about it. Right now, everyone is here and I don't want to be on the phone with my mom. You understand, right?"

My turn to giggle. "I was young once, m'dear; of course I understand. As long as you are all right."

Later she phoned me to say she wanted to stay at Amelia's overnight. I agreed and told her I would run interference with her father for her. As she explained the issue to me, it seems that all the while Radar and Faith had been dating so publically, including attending their Prom, Radar had been secretly seeing Faith's very close, longtime friend, Rachel. Faith told me that, until now, she has only been crushing on Radar; there had not been enough time for it to have become all that serious. What hurt her terribly was the betrayal by her longtime girlfriend. That was what she meant when she said I had been right about a lot of things. Of all her friends, Rachel has always been my least favorite. You guesed it; from the first time Rachel came to our home, 6 years ago, there was something about her that simply did not sit right with me. I never fully trusted her. While I had, at the time, shared my feelings with Steve, I never told Faith about this until about a year ao. It would not have been productive to unnerve Faith about a friend so early in her school career. Only reason I told her last year was because I witnessed Rachel uncaringly betray another friend for her own personal gain. I was then I let Faith know how I had always felt about Rachel.

My daughter should be ecstatically looking forward to a terrific last summer before college. Instead, she is sticking close to home because she believes she has been humiliated in front of her friends by someone she always trusted would be watching her back. Of course, we who are older and wiser know that before long everyone will now what happened. They will all make their own judgement call and human nature dictates that the humiliation will not fall upon Faith. Having never experienced such a thing, she does not know this yet.

I am angry about it, I confess, but I have decided not to dwell on that. Instead, I shall focus my energies on watching how she handles it. I bet she'll be awesome. How hard it is to stand back and let them deal with life's hurts when what we really want to do is fix it for them so that nothing will ever hurt them...

All for now...
CM

JUST A GAME?

MY TWO CENTS ON THE FOOTBALL DEBACLE:

(On May 13th at Brammel Lane in Sheffield, England, the home team, nicknamed The Blades, were unjustly robbed of their Premier Status when they were beaten by West Ham. This loss was particularly painful for all football (soccer to Americans) fans because West Ham had illegally signed two of its players, one of whom made the winning goal. For this, WH were merely chastised with what could only be referred to as a token fine, but not charged any points. This made it possible for them to steal Premiership by this win and drive Sheffield United aka The Blades into Relegation.)

What happened in Sheffield on May 13th remains completely unacceptable. I have no idea how or why things went the way they did, and I will not opine about it here. What I do know is that it was grossly unfair, unjust, and utterly ill advised.

This is as good a point as any for me to go on the record and say that I am appalled by the way the Blades gallant fight for justice is being received by the media. All this chatter about their visit to Parliament today being an act of desperation is irresponsible. Shame on these reporters for their blatant favoritism and their poor journalism. For heavens sake! The Blades are not asking for something that isn't rightfully theirs. No one is asking for a free ride! They are seeking fairness.

Michael Palin (of Monty Python fame) said it best: "I heartily support ... all those who feel strongly that the arbitration panel should re-consider the decision on West Ham's punishment. A fine makes precious little difference to a club like West Ham, and a points deduction would have not only matched the crime, but have been a just encouragement for all those clubs, who, like Sheffield United, have played fair. To let the current judgement stand makes everyone involved look as if they don't really care."

As Sean Bean expresses his feelings about it in this video, the Sheffield United administrators did everything right in adherence of the rules. It's reasonable that they now feel as though they are being punished while the team who ruthlessly disregarded those same rules (Sorry, I call 'em as I see 'em) are receiving accolades and remuneration. In short, West Ham's bad form is being rewarded by Premiership Status which means, lest we forget, millions upon millions of dollars for them. Well, it sems to me that Mr. Bean is absolutely right. Hey! You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool this ol' Jersey-girl - ever!.

Do the Powers-that-be really want to leave this door open?

Really?

Do they?

And pardon me for asking, but don't the West Ham fans feel cheated? Aren't they ashamed that the team they so faithfully support has mocked them by playing so underhanded a card? I would be furious with West Ham administrators for this!

Okay, I had better stop; my temper is flaring a bit too much... It's just so completely wrong! This whole thing should never have happened.

Steve and I have discussed this a lot and we both feel that if we were in the UK, we very likely would have somehow taken part in the Blades' crusade today, even if all we did was show up and hand out coffee. It's not that we are necessarily Blades fans, mind you, but we are indeed football fans! To be frank, I am at a complete loss to comprehend how anyone who is a true fan of the game could not side with Sheffield United in this fight. I admire the daylights out of Sean Bean and everyone who accompanied him today. They are doing the right thing. I can only hope their words have not fallen upon deaf ears.

(I'll interject here that this game on the 13th between Sheffield United and West Ham was the last one Steve and his dad watched together via telephone - on opposite sides of the pond. It was later that very evening his father passed away. (See my 5.15 post: A Little Bit of Rain) Steve has actually been distracted from his grief a bit by this whole thing and has even stated that he is glad his father is not here to see this happening to football.)

Okay, here is the video of which I wrote a few paragraphs up:
SEAN BEAN SPEAKS OUT...


If I am to be completely honest, I cannot pretend to have been a longtime fan of Mr. Bean's... Well, in my defense, I hadn't heard of him until a few months ago, but he gets A's in my book for today's action. I like him and I admire him. His heart is clearly in this. Sean Bean, unlike so many others who have chosen to remain on the sidelines and keep quiet, will be able to sleep tonight knowing he did everything he could to change things. How can anyone fail to admire that?

It's not difficult to see he is emotional about this situation. He looks away from the interviewer most of the time; he repeats himself; and he is constrained, like someone holding himself back. And why wouldn't he be emotional? Is there anyone alive who has never experienced the heartbreaking torment of watching his or her team suffer a significant loss or sacrifice an important title. Can anyone deny, then, that it must be unbearable to experience watching them lose in such a dreadfully unjust manner. His anger, like that of all Blades fans, must be eating him alive!

Sheffield United were robbed, plain and simple. Justice must be done here. Now, whether or not they will actually receive their Premiership Status again, I do not quite understand - and no matter how Steve tries to explain it to me, I am not grasping it.

I'll close by stating the obvious ...and the heartfelt. For Sheffield United, it's all about their status and the money it will bring to them; I realize that. For me, it's about justice and the integrity of the game. Our son plays football and dreams of playing professionally one day. It's no wonder, therefore, that maintaining the integrity of the game is significant to us. I believe an example must be made of West Ham. I hope and indeed pray that those who have the power to set this right will be unmercifully hard on West Ham - to be sure this does not become a yearly fight. The time to set the correct precedent is now.

Oh, how I hope the high road, in this case, will not be the one less traveled!

We shall see.

Until the 18th we are
Waiting patiently... and passionately,
Carol

PUT ON A HAPPY FACE!

Mother in Law is going home today. We're all a bit sad to see her go, even more sad thinking of the heartbreak that awaits her when she arrives at home in Edinburgh to face resumption of her life without her husband of 54 years.

Father in Law passed away on May 13th. Seems like forever ago, now; we've all been so busy since then. Rushing to Scotland to be with the family and assist in the planning and decision making. Bringing Mother home with us to birthdays, graduations, end of school-year activities, recitals, concerts, award programs and the like. It's been a whirlwind of a time and she has been remarkable. Her utter joy at the sight of her grandchildren is palpable, I dare say downright contagious and she lets nothing, not even her broken heart, interfere with her time with them. How I admire her and aspire to be like her!

Indeed, she is such an inspiration to everyone. Only a wee bit of tears now and then. She tried so hard to be strong and has been more than successful in front of Steve and the kids. When she and I would find ourselves alone together, she did occasionally allow herself the luxury of tearful reflection. How my heart aches for her. For what she is now facing.

I have decided to share a little something one of the kids found and showed to her while she was here that tickled her fancy and made her giggle. Perhaps it will lift your spirits, too.




CM

CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH...

...of Sir Ian McKellen! How I adore him!

Set in 1930-something Facist Britian, here he is performing in RICHARD III. "Was ever woman in this humor wooed?" Menacing Jazz accompaniment, eh?





Email me with your favorite adaptation of R-III.

CM
CREDIT for the YOUTUBE catch goes to YOUTUBE Artist: abuhmeid.

SUMMER! YEAH!

Yesterday was Christina's first day of Summer! No school! Yeah!

My friend, Andrea, and her daughter, Morgan, who attends school with Christina, wisely thought of this terrific idea to make it extra special. What they did was suggest we have a day of outing activities with the two girls and that they each invite a favorite pal from school so that they have a foursome.

Originally, we'd planned to have lunch, go to a local Beading Craft Shop to design and make some fabulous jewelry, and top off the day with a movie. The girls all wanted to see NANCY DREW but it will not be released until the 15th so we'd planned to see SHREK 3. The girls jumped on that like white on rice and each made their buddy selection. Morgan chose Katrina and Christina chose Maggie. Perfect.

Morgan had a Horseback Riding Lesson until noon, so Christina and I picked up Katrina and Maggie and hotfooted it to meet up with Morgan and her mom while the three girls in the back seat could barely contain themselves! How I love this age when seeing each other is an event that calls for screeching and hugging as though they haven't seen one another in ages. (It had not even been 24 hours since they tearfully bid each other a good summer.)

Katrina had another outing planned with her father later in the afternoon and he needed her home by 4:30, so what we did was alter the plans to accommodate that and try to fit everything in. Skipping dessert at lunch and planning a side trip to a local Coldstone Creamery after the movie seemed to adjust the time block perfectly and we were off and running.

Lunch was an absolute blast. The conversation between the four 9 year olds kept Andrea and I thoroughly entertained, the food was positively scrumptious and the location was within walking distance to the theater, but we drove so that when the theater let out, we could high tail it to the beading activity! We'd made a slight error in the movie planning as SHREK 3 was not to be in the theater until the weekend, but we quickly adjusted the plan to see SURF'S UP instead. Thanks goodness for the double entendre! Andrea and I were killing ourselves laughing, as were the children, albeit at different things! Suffice it to say that a wonderful, fun time was definitely had by all. (In short, if you fear being bored when taking your little ones to see this one, dump those worries right now; you'll like it!)

The girls and I (concession... er, I mean, confession time) loaded up on snacks which eliminated the need to visit the Coldstone Creamery.

So the movie was a great success and then it was on to the Beading Place. Can I tell you now how incredibly artistic and talented our girls are! All four of them! They each selected their beads and decided upon the lengths, organized their designs, and had their necklaces and bracelets done lickity split! It was seriously impressive.

Andrea and I shot each other a we survived that, it was actually quite fun look and thought it was finished when we dropped Katrina off to her father at exactly 4:30 as promised. The girls had other ideas. We tried to stifle our giggles as we heard them meekly conspiring in the back seat. Before long, they asked ever so sweetly if they could go to the local playground for a while and we had, after all, been indoors for most of the day, escaping the 90 degree heat, so we went along with them saying it would be fine. Andrea had to beg off as she had to collect her wee one and I took the girls to play for an hour.

A lovely, busy, fun first day of summer!

We've already decided to take them all to see NANCY DREW on the 15th!

I'm ready today for the Graduation...

Starts at 11...

Faith is Valedictorian...

Should be awesome...

All for now.

CM

LIKE ART?

We are still dealing with the seasonal Graduations, Weddings, End of School Concerts, Recitals and Picnics... Not much time to write for fun or profit! Additionally, Steve is grieving deeply over the loss of his father.

This caught my eye this morning and made me smile. I share it with you now.



It is Entitled: 500 Years of Female Portraits in Western Art

Credit and ESTEEM goes to: YouTube Artist: Eggman913

I hope that made your day as it has made mine...
Love,
Carol

OUTRAGED PATRIOT!

I always liked Lee Iacocca; now I remember why!


Lee Iacocca Statement
Reprinted from THE WASHINGTON NEWSLETTER

By Lee Iacocca


Had Enough? Am I the only guy in this country who's fed up with what's happening? Where the hell is our outrage?

We should be screaming bloody murder. We've got a gang of clueless bozos steering our ship of state right over a cliff, we've got corporate gangsters stealing us blind, and we can't even clean up after a hurricane much less build a hybrid car. But instead of getting mad, everyone sits around and nods their heads when the politicians say, "Stay the course." Stay the course? You've got to be kidding. This is America , not the damned Titanic. I'll give you a sound bite: Throw the bums out! You might think I'm getting senile, that I've gone off my rocker, and maybe I have. But someone has to speak up.

I hardly recognize this country anymore. The President of the United States is given a free pass to ignore the Constitution, tap our phones, and lead us to war on a pack of lies. Congress responds to record deficits by passing a huge tax cut for the wealthy (thanks, but I don't need it). The most famous business leaders are not the innovators but the guys in handcuffs. While we're fiddling in Iraq, the Middle East is burning and nobody seems to know what to do. And the press is waving pom-poms instead of asking hard questions. That's not the promise of America my parents and yours traveled across the ocean for.

I've had enough. How about you? I'll go a step further. You can't call yourself a patriot if you're not outraged. This is a fight I'm ready and willing to have. My friends tell me to calm down. They say, "Lee, you're eighty-two years old. Leave the rage to the young people." I'd love to, as soon as I can pry them away from their iPods for five seconds and get them to pay attention. I'm going to speak up because it's my patriotic duty. I think people will listen to me. They say I have a reputation as a straight shooter. So I'll tell you how I see it, and it's not pretty, but at least it's real.

I'm hoping to strike a nerve in those young folks who say they don't vote because they don't trust politicians to represent their interests. Hey, America , wake up. These guys work for us. Who Are These Guys, Anyway? Why are we in this mess? How did we end up with this crowd in Washington ? Well, we voted for them, or at least some of us did. But I'll tell you what we didn't do. We didn't agree to suspend the Constitution. We didn't agree to stop asking questions or demanding answers. Some of us are sick and tired of people who call free speech treason. Where I come from that's a dictatorship, not a democracy. And don't tell me it's all the fault of right-wing Republicans or liberal Democrats. That's an intellectually lazy argument, and it's part of the reason we're in this stew. We're not just a nation of factions. We're a people. We share common principles and ideals. And we rise and fall together.

Where are the voices of leaders who can inspire us to action and make us stand taller? What happened to the strong and resolute party of Lincoln ? What happened to the courageous, populist party of FDR and Truman? There was a time in this country when the voices of great leaders lifted us up and made us want to do better. Where have all the leaders gone?


The Test of a Leader

I've never been Commander in Chief, but I've been a CEO. I understand a few things about leadership at the top. I've figured out nine points, not ten (I don't want people accusing me of thinking I'm Moses). I call them the "Nine Cs of Leadership." They're not fancy or complicated. Just clear, obvious qualities that every true leader should have. We should look at how the current administration stacks up. Like it or not, this crew is going to be around until January 2009. Maybe we can learn something before we go to the polls in 2008. Then let's be sure we use the leadership test to screen the candidates who say they want to run the country. It's up to us to choose wisely.

A leader has to show CURIOSITY. He has to listen to people outside of the "Yes, sir" crowd in his inner circle. He has to read voraciously, because the world is a big, complicated place. George W. Bush brags about never reading a newspaper. "I just scan the headlines," he says. Am I hearing this right? He's the President of the United States and he never reads a newspaper? Thomas Jefferson once said, "Were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate for a moment to prefer the latter." Bush disagrees. As long as he gets his daily hour in the gym, with Fox News piped through the sound system, he's ready to go.

If a leader never steps outside his comfort zone to hear different ideas, he grows stale. If he doesn't put his beliefs to the test, how does he know he's right? The inability to listen is a form of arrogance. It means either you think you already know it all, or you just don't care. Before the 2006 election, George Bush made a big point of saying he didn't listen to the polls. Yeah, that's what they all say when the polls stink. But maybe he should have listened, because 70 percent of the people were saying he was on the wrong track. It took a "thumping" on election day to wake him up, but even then you got the feeling he wasn't listening so much as he was calculating how to do a better job of convincing everyone he was right.

A leader has to be CREATIVE, go out on a limb, be willing to try something different. You know, think outside the box. George Bush prides himself on never changing, even as the world around him is spinning out of control. God forbid someone should accuse him of flip-flopping. There's a disturbingly messianic fervor to his certainty. Senator Joe Biden recalled a conversation he had with Bush a few months after our troops marched into Baghdad. Joe was in the Oval Office outlining his concerns to the President, the explosive mix of Shiite and Sunni, the disbanded Iraqi army, the problems securing the oil fields. "The President was serene," Joe
recalled. "He told me he was sure that we were on the right course and that all would be well. 'Mr. President,' I finally said, 'how can you be so sure when you don't yet know all the facts?'" Bush then reached over and put a steadying hand on Joe's shoulder. "My instincts," he said. "My instincts." Joe was flabbergasted. He told Bush,"Mr. President, your instincts aren't good enough." Joe Biden sure didn't think the matter was settled. And, as we all know now, it wasn't. Leadership is all about managing change, whether you're leading a company or leading a country. Things change, and you get creative. You adapt. Maybe Bush was absent the day they covered that at Harvard Business School .

A leader has to COMMUNICATE. I'm not talking about running off at the mouth or spouting sound bites. I'm talking about facing reality and telling the truth. Nobody in the current administration seems to know how to talk straight anymore. Instead, they spend most of their time trying to convince us that things are not really as bad as they seem. I don't know if it's denial or dishonesty, but it can start to drive you crazy after a while. Communication has to start with telling the truth, even when it's painful. The war in Iraq has been, among other things, a grand failure of communication. Bush is like the boy who didn't cry wolf when the wolf was at the door. After years of being told that all is well, even as the casualties and chaos mount, we've stopped listening to him.

A leader has to be a person of CHARACTER. That means knowing the difference between right and wrong and having the guts to do the right thing. Abraham Lincoln once said, "If you want to test a man's character, give him power." George Bush has a lot of power. What does it say about his character? Bush has shown a willingness to take bold action on the world stage because he has the power, but he shows little regard for the grievous consequences. He has sent our troops (not to mention hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqi citizens) to their deaths. For what? To build our oil reserves? To avenge his daddy because Saddam Hussein once tried to have him killed? To show his daddy he's tougher? The motivations behind the war in Iraq are questionable, and the execution of the war has been a disaster. A man of character does not ask a single soldier to die for a failed policy.

A leader must have COURAGE. I'm talking about balls. (That even goes for female leaders.) Swagger isn't courage. Tough talk isn't courage. George Bush comes from a blue-blooded Connecticut family, but he likes to talk like a cowboy. You know, My gun is bigger than your gun. Courage in the twenty-first century doesn't mean posturing and bravado. Courage is a commitment to sit down at the negotiating table and talk.

If you're a politician, courage means taking a position even when you know it will cost you votes. Bush can't even make a public appearance unless the audience has been handpicked and sanitized. He did a series of so-called town hall meetings last year, in auditoriums packed with his most devoted fans. The questions were all softballs.

To be a leader you've got to have CONVICTION, a fire in your belly. You've got to have passion. You've got to really want to get something done. How do you measure fire in the belly? Bush has set the all-time record for number of vacation days taken by a U.S. President, four hundred and counting. He'd rather clear brush on his ranch than immerse himself in the business of governing. He even told an interviewer that the high point of his presidency so far was catching a seven-and-a-half-pound perch in his hand-stocked lake.

It's no better on Capitol Hill. Congress was in session only ninety-seven days in 2006. That's eleven days less than the record set in 1948, when President Harry Truman coined the term do-nothing Congress. Most people would expect to be fired if they worked so little and had nothing to show for it. But Congress managed to find
the time to vote itself a raise. Now, that's not leadership.

A leader should have CHARISMA. I'm not talking about being flashy. Charisma is the quality that makes people want to follow you. It's the ability to inspire. People follow a leader because they trust him. That's my definition of charisma. Maybe George Bush is a great guy to hang out with at a barbecue or a ball game. But put him at a global summit where the future of our planet is at stake, and he doesn't look very presidential. Those frat-boy pranks and the kidding around he enjoys so much don't go over that well with world leaders.Just ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel, who received an unwelcome shoulder massage from our President at a G-8 Summit. When he came up behind her and started squeezing, I thought she was going to go right through the roof.

A leader has to be COMPETENT. That seems obvious, doesn't it? You've got to know what you're doing. More important than that, you've got to surround yourself with people who know what they're doing. Bush brags about being our first MBA President. Does that make him competent? Well, let's see. Thanks to our first MBA President, we've got the largest deficit in history, Social Security is on life support, and we've run up a half-a-trillion-dollar price tag (so far) in Iraq. And that's just for starters. A leader has to be a problem solver, and the biggest problems we face as a nation seem to be on the back burner.

You can't be a leader if you don't have COMMON SENSE. I call this Charlie Beacham's rule. When I was a young guy just starting out in the car business, one of my first jobs was as Ford's zone manager in Wilkes-Barre , Pennsylvania. My boss was a guy named Charlie Beacham, who was the East Coast regional manager. Charlie was a big Southerner, with a warm drawl, a huge smile, and a core of steel. Charlie used to tell me, "Remember, Lee, the only thing you've got going for you as a human being is your ability to reason and your common sense. If you don't know a dip of horseshit from a dip of vanilla ice cream, you'll never make it."

George Bush doesn't have common sense. He just has a lot of sound bites. You know, Mr.they'll-welcome-us-as-liberators-no-child-left-behind-heck-of-a-job-Brownie-mission-accomplished Bush. Former President Bill Clinton once said, "I grew up in an alcoholic home. I spent half my childhood trying to get into the reality-based world, and I like it here." I think our current President should visit the real world once in a while.

The Biggest C is Crisis Leaders are made, not born. Leadership is forged in times of crisis. It's easy to sit there with your feet up on the desk and talk theory. Or send someone else's kids off to war when you've never seen a battlefield yourself. It's another thing to lead when your world comes tumbling down. On September 11, 2001, we needed a strong leader more than any other time in our history. We needed a steady hand to guide us out of the ashes. Where was George Bush? He was reading a story about a pet goat to kids in Florida when he heard about the attacks. He kept sitting there for twenty minutes with a baffled look on his face. It's all on tape. You can see it for yourself. Then, instead of taking the quickest route back to Washington and immediately going on the air to reassure the panicked people of this country, he decided it wasn't safe to return to the White House. He basically went into hiding for the day, and he told Vice President Dick Cheney to stay put in his bunker.

We were all frozen in front of our TVs, scared out of our wits, waiting for our leaders to tell us that we were going to be okay, and there was nobody home. It took Bush a couple of days to get his bearings and devise the right photo op at Ground Zero. That was George Bush's moment of truth, and he was paralyzed. And what did he do when he'd regained his composure? He led us down the road to Iraq, a road his own father had considered disastrous when he was President. But Bush didn't listen to Daddy. He listened to a higher father. He prides himself on being faith based, not reality based. If that doesn't scare the crap out of you, I don't know what will.


A Hell of a Mess.

So here's where we stand. We're immersed in a bloody war with no plan for winning and no plan for leaving. We're running the biggest deficit in the history of the country. We're losing the manufacturing edge to Asia , while our once-great companies are getting slaughtered by health care costs. Gas prices are skyrocketing, and nobody in power has a coherent energy policy. Our schools are in trouble. Our borders are like sieves. The middle class is being squeezed every which way. These are times that cry out for leadership.

But when you look around, you've got to ask: "Where have all the leaders gone?" Where are the curious, creative communicators? Where are the people of character, courage, conviction, competence, and common sense? I may be a sucker for illiteration, but I think you get the point.

Name me a leader who has a better idea for homeland security than making us take off our shoes in airports and throw away our shampoo? We've spent billions of dollars building a huge new bureaucracy, and all we know how to do is react to things that have already happened. Name me one leader who emerged from the crisis of Hurricane Katrina. Congress has yet to spend a single day evaluating the response to the hurricane, or demanding accountability for the decisions that were made in the crucial hours after the storm. Everyone's hunkering down, fingers crossed, hoping it doesn't happen again. Now, that's just crazy. Storms happen. Deal with it. Make a plan. Figure out what you're going to do the next time.

Name me an industry leader who is thinking creatively about how we can restore our competitive edge in manufacturing. Who would have believed that there could ever be a time when "the Big Three" referred to Japanese car companies? How did this happen, and more important, what are we going to do about it? Name me a government leader who can articulate a plan for paying down the debt, or solving the energy crisis, or managing the health care problem. The silence is deafening. But these are the crises that are eating away at our country and milking the middle class dry.

I have news for the gang in Congress. We didn't elect you to sit on your asses and do nothing and remain silent while our democracy is being hijacked and our greatness is being replaced with mediocrity. What is everybody so afraid of? That some bobblehead on Fox News will call them a name? Give me a break. Why don't you guys show some spine for a change? Had Enough? Hey, I'm not trying to be the voice of gloom and doom here. I'm trying to light a fire. I'm speaking out because I have hope. I believe in America.

In my lifetime I've had the privilege of living through some of America's greatest moments. I've also experienced some of our worst crises, the Great Depression, World War II, the Korean War, the Kennedy assassination, the Vietnam War, the 1970s oil crisis, and the struggles of recent years culminating with 9/11. If I've learned one thing, it's this: You don't get anywhere by standing on the sidelines waiting for somebody else to take action. Whether it's building a better car or building a better future for our children, we all have a role to play. That's the challenge I'm raising in this book. It's a call to action for people who, like me, believe in America. It's not too late, but it's getting pretty close. So let's shake off the horseshit and go to work. Let's tell 'em all we've had enough.


Lee Iacocca