Mother in Law is going home today. We're all a bit sad to see her go, even more sad thinking of the heartbreak that awaits her when she arrives at home in Edinburgh to face resumption of her life without her husband of 54 years.
Father in Law passed away on May 13th. Seems like forever ago, now; we've all been so busy since then. Rushing to Scotland to be with the family and assist in the planning and decision making. Bringing Mother home with us to birthdays, graduations, end of school-year activities, recitals, concerts, award programs and the like. It's been a whirlwind of a time and she has been remarkable. Her utter joy at the sight of her grandchildren is palpable, I dare say downright contagious and she lets nothing, not even her broken heart, interfere with her time with them. How I admire her and aspire to be like her!
Indeed, she is such an inspiration to everyone. Only a wee bit of tears now and then. She tried so hard to be strong and has been more than successful in front of Steve and the kids. When she and I would find ourselves alone together, she did occasionally allow herself the luxury of tearful reflection. How my heart aches for her. For what she is now facing.
I have decided to share a little something one of the kids found and showed to her while she was here that tickled her fancy and made her giggle. Perhaps it will lift your spirits, too.
CM
Showing posts with label grieving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grieving. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
A LITTLE BIT of RAIN...
Steve's dad died Sunday.
We got the call from the UK at around 6pm (edst). It was sudden and unexpected.
We're feverishly packing and preparing for the transatlantic flight to take us home to Scotland this evening. This is when we feel so far away... Please keep us in your thoughts I always have a bit of fear when my entire family is on one flight and that is indeed what we are doing... I know it's silly, but it scares me. (Continental 36)
As for our return to New Jersey, I think we will be heading home on Saturday and Sunday. After much discussion and tearful decision making, we have come to the conclusion that the best thing to do is stagger the homecomings to suit everyone in the best possible way. Steve and the boys will be coming home on Saturday to attend Gabe's graduation from University and I will stay one more day and bring mother in law and the younger girls home with me on Sunday. Difficult decision for us to make, having me miss Gabe's graduation, but he was so generous about it, fully understanding that I need to be there for my mother in law... (Can I mix being so proud of my loving son and so hurt for Steve without some kind of mental crash?) Older sisters, Faith and Destiny, want to stay in Scotland for a week or so, but they all have to be back for Faith's graduation on June 9th.
Steve is not taking this well. He and his dad were very close - even talking on the phone Sunday afternoon while they were watching the games on opposite sides of the pond. Carrying on over West Ham's ostensibly illegal win... They always did that when there was a game. It ws only hours later, we got the call letting us know that Grandy went into renal failure and they had taken him to hospital via Emergency Services. "Stay by the phone," they said, "He's going to go..." We had gone out with some friends to console Steve over the corruption and demise of soccer but came racing home to sit and stare silently at the phone. Friends wanted to come with us to 'be there for' Steve, but he waved them off. (In all these years I don't think I have ever seen my darling truly terrified before.)
In another few hours, his father was gone. He'd been sick on and off since Christmas, but last week when Steve flew over to visit with him, he seemed so much better. Steve came home quite happy with his dad's progress, even talking about the likely possibility of flying his parents over for Faith's graduation.
Steve says he does not want to watch football (soccer) any more without his dad, but soccer and fishing are his sports passions so I have to believe that, in time, he will be all right watching it again... Today, he's been walking around aimlessly... Not speaking, not eating... It's heart wrenching to see him like this. I want to do something to make it all go away for him, but I know he has to go through it in his own way, his own time. Still...
Hard to say good bye to someone who was so good to me, who meant so much to my husband and our family. Harder still to see Steve in so much pain and be able to do nothing.
Remember me with smiles and laughter
For that is how I'll remember you all.
If you can only remember me with tears,
Then I'd rather you didn't remember me at all... --Michael Landon
All for now...
CM
We got the call from the UK at around 6pm (edst). It was sudden and unexpected.
We're feverishly packing and preparing for the transatlantic flight to take us home to Scotland this evening. This is when we feel so far away... Please keep us in your thoughts I always have a bit of fear when my entire family is on one flight and that is indeed what we are doing... I know it's silly, but it scares me. (Continental 36)
As for our return to New Jersey, I think we will be heading home on Saturday and Sunday. After much discussion and tearful decision making, we have come to the conclusion that the best thing to do is stagger the homecomings to suit everyone in the best possible way. Steve and the boys will be coming home on Saturday to attend Gabe's graduation from University and I will stay one more day and bring mother in law and the younger girls home with me on Sunday. Difficult decision for us to make, having me miss Gabe's graduation, but he was so generous about it, fully understanding that I need to be there for my mother in law... (Can I mix being so proud of my loving son and so hurt for Steve without some kind of mental crash?) Older sisters, Faith and Destiny, want to stay in Scotland for a week or so, but they all have to be back for Faith's graduation on June 9th.
Steve is not taking this well. He and his dad were very close - even talking on the phone Sunday afternoon while they were watching the games on opposite sides of the pond. Carrying on over West Ham's ostensibly illegal win... They always did that when there was a game. It ws only hours later, we got the call letting us know that Grandy went into renal failure and they had taken him to hospital via Emergency Services. "Stay by the phone," they said, "He's going to go..." We had gone out with some friends to console Steve over the corruption and demise of soccer but came racing home to sit and stare silently at the phone. Friends wanted to come with us to 'be there for' Steve, but he waved them off. (In all these years I don't think I have ever seen my darling truly terrified before.)
In another few hours, his father was gone. He'd been sick on and off since Christmas, but last week when Steve flew over to visit with him, he seemed so much better. Steve came home quite happy with his dad's progress, even talking about the likely possibility of flying his parents over for Faith's graduation.
Steve says he does not want to watch football (soccer) any more without his dad, but soccer and fishing are his sports passions so I have to believe that, in time, he will be all right watching it again... Today, he's been walking around aimlessly... Not speaking, not eating... It's heart wrenching to see him like this. I want to do something to make it all go away for him, but I know he has to go through it in his own way, his own time. Still...
Hard to say good bye to someone who was so good to me, who meant so much to my husband and our family. Harder still to see Steve in so much pain and be able to do nothing.
Remember me with smiles and laughter
For that is how I'll remember you all.
If you can only remember me with tears,
Then I'd rather you didn't remember me at all... --Michael Landon
All for now...
CM
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