Steve's dad died Sunday.
We got the call from the UK at around 6pm (edst). It was sudden and unexpected.
We're feverishly packing and preparing for the transatlantic flight to take us home to Scotland this evening. This is when we feel so far away... Please keep us in your thoughts I always have a bit of fear when my entire family is on one flight and that is indeed what we are doing... I know it's silly, but it scares me. (Continental 36)
As for our return to New Jersey, I think we will be heading home on Saturday and Sunday. After much discussion and tearful decision making, we have come to the conclusion that the best thing to do is stagger the homecomings to suit everyone in the best possible way. Steve and the boys will be coming home on Saturday to attend Gabe's graduation from University and I will stay one more day and bring mother in law and the younger girls home with me on Sunday. Difficult decision for us to make, having me miss Gabe's graduation, but he was so generous about it, fully understanding that I need to be there for my mother in law... (Can I mix being so proud of my loving son and so hurt for Steve without some kind of mental crash?) Older sisters, Faith and Destiny, want to stay in Scotland for a week or so, but they all have to be back for Faith's graduation on June 9th.
Steve is not taking this well. He and his dad were very close - even talking on the phone Sunday afternoon while they were watching the games on opposite sides of the pond. Carrying on over West Ham's ostensibly illegal win... They always did that when there was a game. It ws only hours later, we got the call letting us know that Grandy went into renal failure and they had taken him to hospital via Emergency Services. "Stay by the phone," they said, "He's going to go..." We had gone out with some friends to console Steve over the corruption and demise of soccer but came racing home to sit and stare silently at the phone. Friends wanted to come with us to 'be there for' Steve, but he waved them off. (In all these years I don't think I have ever seen my darling truly terrified before.)
In another few hours, his father was gone. He'd been sick on and off since Christmas, but last week when Steve flew over to visit with him, he seemed so much better. Steve came home quite happy with his dad's progress, even talking about the likely possibility of flying his parents over for Faith's graduation.
Steve says he does not want to watch football (soccer) any more without his dad, but soccer and fishing are his sports passions so I have to believe that, in time, he will be all right watching it again... Today, he's been walking around aimlessly... Not speaking, not eating... It's heart wrenching to see him like this. I want to do something to make it all go away for him, but I know he has to go through it in his own way, his own time. Still...
Hard to say good bye to someone who was so good to me, who meant so much to my husband and our family. Harder still to see Steve in so much pain and be able to do nothing.
Remember me with smiles and laughter
For that is how I'll remember you all.
If you can only remember me with tears,
Then I'd rather you didn't remember me at all... --Michael Landon
All for now...
CM
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