Logan pulled his SUV up to the little cottage, turned off the ignition and sat in silence for a moment or two before disembarking and approaching the door. When there was no response to his knock, reflexively he tried the latch; it was unlocked. He toyed briefly with the idea of coming back later but the simple truth of it was that he could not leave. Knowing this might upset Cassie yet unable to reconcile his feelings of trepidation and longing, Logan entered her house.
As he moved through the vestibule and into the hallway, even though it had been less than two weeks since he'd been there, he had the bitter sweet sensation of the distant warmth and familiarity one experiences when he visits the childhood home he'd left long ago.
With a barrage of memories assailing him, he moved through the darkened cottage. His breath caught in his throat as he stepped into the library alcove. The overstuffed sofa where they had so often lain entwined reading and discussing books was unnervingly disheveled, its down-filled pillows tossed to the floor. The woven silk blanket Cassie had always treated with such care had been wadded like a piece of crumbled paper and likewise discarded, shoved under the table. Standing menacingly close to the edge was a bottle of Pinot Grigio, opened but untouched. One of the glasses they had bought at the estate sale was lying on its side in the center of the table, its rim cracked. He smiled resolutely as he bent down and, with a gentle puff of his breath, extinguished a double-wicked candle that had been carelessly left burning. Next to it he eyed a book of matches and a silver bowl containing an obscure love note Jamie had written to Cassie and several photos of the two of them. The antique pewter frame in which Cassie had encased her favorite photo of Jamie had been taken apart, its pieces discarded haphazardly; there was no sign of the photo. Logan sat on the sofa, leaned back and heaved a heavy sigh as he assessed the scene laid out before him. Eventually his gaze made its way to the fireplace. He hadn't noticed until now that the painting of the cottage was missing from its perch above the mantle, the poker likewise missing from its hook.
As he entered the living room he discovered the missing poker lying on the floor in the center of the room, its pointed end proximal to the painting which had been set upright with its back against the settee. A disbelieving breath escaped Logan's lips as he drew his hand to his brow and down the length of his face. He blinked back the moisture in his eyes and cleared his throat as he continued his survey of every gut wrenching detail.
As he continued numbly through the house, he found the kitchen uncharacteristically pristine, though the aloe plant was in dire need of water. The sun-room door to the garden had been left wide open. He descended the three steps to close it but as the cool night air caressed him, he suddenly turned and hastened back though the house to the stairway that led to Cassie's bedroom.
He bounded the steps as though he were being chased but he paused at the top and entered cautiously. He closed his eyes as he basked in the scent of her perfume. The moonlight glaring through her window illuminated the bed which looked as though it had not been touched since he'd been there, except that this pillow had been removed. So had the patchwork blanket he'd given her. Overtaken by vivid memories of the two of them wrestling in the throws of passion, he sat on the bed taking her pillow into his arms. Clutching it to his middle, he rocked inconsolably, his flooding eyes fixed on the crescent moon.
Resolved to being systematically eliminated from her life, a despairing Logan eventually made his way back downstairs. He'd decided to leave her alone; he would not hurt her anymore.
Mechanically, he located a small box from the studio and began to pack some of his things: Paintbrushes, CD's, his camera, a couple of shirts. He remembered the small photo of the two of them that Cassie had kept on the windowsill in the kitchen and went to retrieve it; it was a surefire bet she would not miss it.
He hadn't intended to touch anything except to take his things, but the drooping aloe plant was begging for water. Believing she would not notice, he removed it from the sill, lowered it to the basin and was instantly afforded a clear view of the garden and his easel. It dawned on him how much he'd invested in this relationship. He'd never given himself over to anyone like this. He had made this woman his reason for living and her little cottage his home. Refusing harborage to the pain that once again threatened to overtake him, he let the water run into the watering can to set, relieved the plant of a dead stalk and decided he needed to remove the easel. She'd probably be grateful to be rid of it.
He shook the water off his hands, dried them on the dishtowel and made his way to the garden. As he began to turn the wing nut on the easel, he was distracted by a rustling sound behind him. Turning toward it, he was stunned by what he saw.
~~~~~~~
There was Cassie sound asleep in the Victorian hammock with the patchwork quilt hanging off her legs. He furrowed his brow as he moved silently toward her drinking in the sight. Looking down at her, his eyes widened as his heart broke with joy. She was wearing the white nightgown he'd bought for her, her loosened hair cascading over her shoulders. She was clutching his pillow to her breast and in her right hand she held the deframed photo of Jamie that had been her favorite. Two of the DVD's that had been sent to her in that cursed box were on her lap still in their sealed cases. Unable to help himself, Logan bent down and kissed her tenderly on her forehead. "I'm here now," he whispered. She turned toward his kiss and sleepily sighed affirmation that she had heard him, "Jamie..."
He lifted the blanket over her being careful not to wake her, left the easel where it was, and made his way to the house. His eyes softened and the corner of his mouth lifted as he turned around to look at her before stepping inside. He would come back in the morning.
As he was deciding whether to place his things back from where he'd retrieved them, he heard the garden door open and close.
Cassie had awakened and wrapped herself in the blanket. Momentarily unsure whether she was still dreaming as she entered to find him standing in her library, she beamed at the sight of him. "Jamie!" She cried as he turned toward her, his arms outstretched. But her bright eyes and beaming smile vanished as the agonizing reality of all that had transpired between them hit hard. Her voice caught in her throat as she corrected herself. "Jamie... Lo--gan... Jamm... Oh my God," she sobbed bitterly, "I don't even know your name. I don't know what to call you..." She stepped toward him and with her open palms began to pound upon upon his chest. "You bastard... Why did you do this to me? Why? What kind of a man are you? I loved him... You bastard. How could you..." She raised her fisted hands into the air as though she wanted to strike him but froze, incapable of doing so.
Logan grabbed her wrists to calm her. His proximity and his touch were unbearably painful to her. Cassie tried to pull away from him but as she turned to twist out of his grasp, she merely succeeded in wrapping his arms around her. With Logan holding her wrists, her arms crossed against her chest and her back drawn into him, the warmth of his body penetrated her hysteria. She no longer had any fight left in her. Her knees buckled as she collapsed into his embrace, utterly broken, desperately mourning the loss of Jamie. "I can't do this. It hurts too much," her sobs turning to whimpers. "This is my nightmare... How could you... This is my nightmare."
Logan cradled her softly whispering words of comfort as he gently lowered himself to the floor. Emboldened by the realization that she had not stopped loving him, he kissed her face as he stroked her hair. "I'm here now; it's all right. Don't cry, Cassie. It's going to be all right now." It was him she loved and there would be a way to show her that. This was not the end for them; he would see to it.
CM
Copyright © 2007 Carol Marsella, BEHIND THE WALL. Newprose.org. All rights reserved.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
FOOTBALL, FLOODS, and FORGOTTEN GRATITUDE
So not only do they bet on the outcome of the games, they also bet on the outcome of the verdict. No, this is not news. The interesting news appears just below:
Just saw this on: READABET dot COM
A gamble is developing on the possibility of a 21-team Premiership next season, according to Ladbrokes.
Sheffield United learn their fate next week and plenty of the Harrow-based firm's punters are anticipating good news for the Blades - an extended top flight has been backed into 4/1 from 5/1.
Ladbrokes spokesman, Nick Weinberg, said: "The curtain appears to be coming down on the Carlos Tevez saga. And our customers certainly think there's a very real possibility of an encore for Sheffield United next term."
The Blades are 7/2 to go further than West Ham in the FA Cup and the same price to last longer in next season's League Cup.
It would be so nice to see this thing come properly to fruition. I want things to stay as fair as possible in Football. I know it's far more trendy to let money rule the game.. but then where is the sport?
While we are all on pins and needles awaiting this outcome, Steve and our son James in particular, will be so happy if Sheffield United is returned to Premiership Status. And Steve could use a little sunshine just now. Meanwhile, I am grateful for the public stance that fairness will prevail.
Until the official announcement, we still wait.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
On another note, we were a little red-faced and a lot guilt stricken after we complained that the rain we experienced the other evening caused our newly stained deck to become sticky and need redoing. News from the UK of the flooding in England as well as news across the US of the flooding on and about the Texas/Oklahoma border put us back in our place right quick! Made us realize that we should not need reminders in order to be thankful for all that we have! So sad to see so many folks put out of their homes. My hopes and prayers for those involved are that family members are not separated from one another as they were in New Orleans. Knowing my Steve, we'll be involved in clean up somewhere!
In New Jersey, we have had bits of rain on and off for the past week, but it's been a pleasant respite from the unusually high temperatures. The rain has also assured that the flora are magnificent this year; for that I am truly thankful. Matter of fact, I am headed out to the gardens right now... with a spirit of gratitude...
Stay safe!
CM
--
Alba go bragh!
"Life is no brief candle. It's a sort of splendid torch, so make it burn as bright as possible." --George Bernard Shaw
Just saw this on: READABET dot COM
A gamble is developing on the possibility of a 21-team Premiership next season, according to Ladbrokes.
Sheffield United learn their fate next week and plenty of the Harrow-based firm's punters are anticipating good news for the Blades - an extended top flight has been backed into 4/1 from 5/1.
Ladbrokes spokesman, Nick Weinberg, said: "The curtain appears to be coming down on the Carlos Tevez saga. And our customers certainly think there's a very real possibility of an encore for Sheffield United next term."
The Blades are 7/2 to go further than West Ham in the FA Cup and the same price to last longer in next season's League Cup.
It would be so nice to see this thing come properly to fruition. I want things to stay as fair as possible in Football. I know it's far more trendy to let money rule the game.. but then where is the sport?
While we are all on pins and needles awaiting this outcome, Steve and our son James in particular, will be so happy if Sheffield United is returned to Premiership Status. And Steve could use a little sunshine just now. Meanwhile, I am grateful for the public stance that fairness will prevail.
Until the official announcement, we still wait.
On another note, we were a little red-faced and a lot guilt stricken after we complained that the rain we experienced the other evening caused our newly stained deck to become sticky and need redoing. News from the UK of the flooding in England as well as news across the US of the flooding on and about the Texas/Oklahoma border put us back in our place right quick! Made us realize that we should not need reminders in order to be thankful for all that we have! So sad to see so many folks put out of their homes. My hopes and prayers for those involved are that family members are not separated from one another as they were in New Orleans. Knowing my Steve, we'll be involved in clean up somewhere!
In New Jersey, we have had bits of rain on and off for the past week, but it's been a pleasant respite from the unusually high temperatures. The rain has also assured that the flora are magnificent this year; for that I am truly thankful. Matter of fact, I am headed out to the gardens right now... with a spirit of gratitude...
Stay safe!
CM
--
Alba go bragh!
"Life is no brief candle. It's a sort of splendid torch, so make it burn as bright as possible." --George Bernard Shaw
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
JUST INCASE YOU NEED A LITTLE INSPIRATION
This man singing is Paul Potts.
jacero10 said: (And I most emphatically agree!)
One thing that comes to me, after being focused on this performance for the past week, is the need to be in regular contact with beauty in whatever form that may mean for each of us. It is time to turn off our tv's and actually live our own lives, pursue our hobbies, take long walks in the country with friends and loved ones. This is what the technogimmick centered modern world is so hungering for!!
Hope that lifted your spirits and encouraged & inspired you as it has me.
CM
jacero10 said: (And I most emphatically agree!)
One thing that comes to me, after being focused on this performance for the past week, is the need to be in regular contact with beauty in whatever form that may mean for each of us. It is time to turn off our tv's and actually live our own lives, pursue our hobbies, take long walks in the country with friends and loved ones. This is what the technogimmick centered modern world is so hungering for!!
Hope that lifted your spirits and encouraged & inspired you as it has me.
CM
Thursday, June 21, 2007
TO DO LIST... Seussically Speaking
Trash out.
Rosa In.
Boxes to recycling.
Old clothing to bin.
Clean up basement.
Organize Shelf.
Then get my book
And enjoy myself.
Packages to Post.
Monies to banks.
Write the cards
That express my thanks.
Ignoring the book
Won't get me a deal.
Got to face Logan;
How daunting it feels!
Second trip to the grocer,
Forgot to buy milk.
Stop in for petrol,
Been days since that bilk.
One kid's at Soccer.
Another's in a play.
Steve forgot wallet.
No matter; I'll pay.
Some time at the gym.
On to the Salon.
Meet with designer
To do our new lawn.
Laundry's perpetual.
Dry cleaner's my friend.
Wondering already
When this day will end.
Dinner for family.
Schedules to keep.
Poor little Liam
Cannot fall asleep.
Steve'll be home early
Looking for fun.
I'd better get ready
I really must run...
Silly, I know, but it started out so innocently and developed a kiddy-rhyme mind of its own. Hey, at least it made the list somethig I could remember...
Lay-da,
CM
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
TO CHEER US ALL UP WHILE WE ARE WAITING...
This should help us all to smile while we await the %*$(*&^ footy decision.
CM
CM
HURRY UP AND WAIT!
From the UK: I am editing this for space but you may read the entire article at BBC SPORTS here:
Blades must wait on appeal ruling
Author not noted
Sheffield United will be kept on tenterhooks to see if their appeal against relegation from the Premier League has been successful.
Blades plc chairman Kevin McCabe says the arbitration panel hearing their challenge will deliver a verdict: "by the end of the month, maybe sooner."
United want to be reinstated after West Ham breached player ownership rules.
After the panel finished hearing the challenge, McCabe said: "It's been a very complicated case, and the panel are going away to review the evidence and submissions. All three parties had the opportunity to present their cases clearly to the panel and we look forward to the handing-down of the decision of the panel in due course. It would be inappropriate to comment further until a decision has been made."
McCabe has always been adamant the panel will rule in favour of his club over a saga that started back in March.
In that month, West Ham were found guilty by an independent committee set up by the Premier League of acting improperly and withholding vital documentation over the Argentine pair's ownership but they escaped a points deduction and Tevez was allowed to continue playing.
He and Mascherano were part-owned by a third party but the Hammers then ended that agreement, which satisfied the Premier League.
Tevez was one of the major factors in the club's late escape - scoring a goal on the final day of last season at Manchester United to help the Hammers stay up.
The Blades finished on the same number of points as fourth-from-bottom Wigan but were relegated on goal difference.
"I think the Premier League wish the arbitration was not happening," McCabe said last week. "But in the knowledge it is happening and it cannot be prevented, then if the decision is overturned we should be reselected to the Premier League.
"Since we really looked into the whys and the wherefores of the Tevez affair it became apparent that a wrong decision was made."
Well, that's it for now. All we can do is wait and see. At least the Panel is not taking this lightly.
Blades must wait on appeal ruling
Author not noted
Sheffield United will be kept on tenterhooks to see if their appeal against relegation from the Premier League has been successful.
Blades plc chairman Kevin McCabe says the arbitration panel hearing their challenge will deliver a verdict: "by the end of the month, maybe sooner."
United want to be reinstated after West Ham breached player ownership rules.
After the panel finished hearing the challenge, McCabe said: "It's been a very complicated case, and the panel are going away to review the evidence and submissions. All three parties had the opportunity to present their cases clearly to the panel and we look forward to the handing-down of the decision of the panel in due course. It would be inappropriate to comment further until a decision has been made."
McCabe has always been adamant the panel will rule in favour of his club over a saga that started back in March.
In that month, West Ham were found guilty by an independent committee set up by the Premier League of acting improperly and withholding vital documentation over the Argentine pair's ownership but they escaped a points deduction and Tevez was allowed to continue playing.
He and Mascherano were part-owned by a third party but the Hammers then ended that agreement, which satisfied the Premier League.
Tevez was one of the major factors in the club's late escape - scoring a goal on the final day of last season at Manchester United to help the Hammers stay up.
The Blades finished on the same number of points as fourth-from-bottom Wigan but were relegated on goal difference.
"I think the Premier League wish the arbitration was not happening," McCabe said last week. "But in the knowledge it is happening and it cannot be prevented, then if the decision is overturned we should be reselected to the Premier League.
"Since we really looked into the whys and the wherefores of the Tevez affair it became apparent that a wrong decision was made."
Well, that's it for now. All we can do is wait and see. At least the Panel is not taking this lightly.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
GROWING PAINS
A few weeks ago, my recent high school graduate, Faith, had a date with a young man whom I shall call "Radar" for reasons that shall become obvious as the story unfolds.
She'd had a crush on this young man for quite some time and was very excited that he had finally asked her out. I well remember the feeling.
In spite of the notion that it is hip and trendy for young men and women to meet at their date destination, Faith's father and I have different ideas. He came to the house to pick her up. Everyone commented, after they left, on how nice he seemed. Well everyone except me; I remained mostly quiet until Steve and I were alone. "He seems nice enough," I said, "but my radar went off like gangbusters. Bells and whistles - the whole kaboodle. I got an uncomfortable vibe from him. I'm not saying I don't like him, just that I am going to keep my eyes and ears open where he is concerned."
Steve nodded acknowledgement of my feelings. We've been together long enough for him to know that I have a keen instinct about people. Discernment. In truth, I have never been wrong when it comes to my sense of a person. It does not often happen that I do not like someone, but when it does happen, it's powerful. I have never abused it and Steve learned, years ago, to trust and pay due attention when this happens. That said, he did ask me to refrain from speaking to Faith just yet. I agreed with him seeing the wisdom in allowing her to learn to to trust her own developing sense of people in the adult world.
On Thursday, she and I were conversing while I was preparing dinner. She'd come in to to say hi after having been out all day with her friends. As the discussion progressed to "Radar", she got a dreamy-eyed look on her face that sent a cold chill up my spine.
"Faith," I started, knowing full well that I was going against the agreement I had made with Steve to stay out of it. "I am not so sure about this guy. I can't put my finger on it, darling, but he set my radar off. Every alarm I have was reacting to him the entire time he was here. Please be careful around him." I tried to be matter-of-fact. What I really wanted to say was... Well, if you are a parent, you already know; if you are not a parent, you will not understand.
"You don't like him, Mom?" She looked honestly distressed at the thought I might not like this young man.
"It's not that I don't like him..." I tried to explain myself without stomping on her teenage heart by telling her the real truth, which was that I felt a sense that he did not maintain a trustworthy character. Besides, I was beginning to become concerned over how I was going to tell Steve I had gone back on my word. As I continued, I tried to make light of it. "More like I feel uncomfortable for some reason. Look, I am not suggesting you don't see him, only that you promise me you will keep your eyes wide open where he is concerned. Will you promise me that?"
She agreed with a smile and a hug as she reassured me he was a great guy and she knew I was saying this because I loved her. She then went on to remind me that I met her father in High School and we had our ups and downs in the beginning. I think it was supposed to be comforting. But I was not comforted; I just knew I was right about this guy. Frankly, her comparing him to her father made me want to scream! But I didn't. I smiled.
When Steve came home, I told him what I had done and, thank God, he said he was glad. The more he'd thought about it, the more he realized he had noticed a thing or two about Radar that he did not like as well. Before the evening had ended, Michael stopped in for a brief visit and he said that he too had processed a weird vibe from his sister's big date. And we let her leave with this guy??
--o0o--
Yesterday, I was unloading groceries from the car when Faith rang my cell. "Mom, I just wanted to tell you that you were right."
I knew immediately that she was not alone and that she was speaking of that young man. "About Radar?" I asked just to confirm, not so much what she was talking about as much as my sense that she was not alone.
"Uh, yeah. You were right... about a lot of things." She was clearly upset but her voice was too calm for me to be concerned that she was in any danger, though I have to admit that the sentence addendum had me perplexed.
Still, I had to ask, "I get the feeling that you are not alone, Faith; do you want your father or your brothers to come to where you are?"
Thankfully, she giggled. "No, Mom. I am fine; just a little stung and kind of embarrassed in front of my friends. I am going to Amelia's for a while to talk it out with her, but I'll call you in a little while to tell you about it. Right now, everyone is here and I don't want to be on the phone with my mom. You understand, right?"
My turn to giggle. "I was young once, m'dear; of course I understand. As long as you are all right."
Later she phoned me to say she wanted to stay at Amelia's overnight. I agreed and told her I would run interference with her father for her. As she explained the issue to me, it seems that all the while Radar and Faith had been dating so publically, including attending their Prom, Radar had been secretly seeing Faith's very close, longtime friend, Rachel. Faith told me that, until now, she has only been crushing on Radar; there had not been enough time for it to have become all that serious. What hurt her terribly was the betrayal by her longtime girlfriend. That was what she meant when she said I had been right about a lot of things. Of all her friends, Rachel has always been my least favorite. You guesed it; from the first time Rachel came to our home, 6 years ago, there was something about her that simply did not sit right with me. I never fully trusted her. While I had, at the time, shared my feelings with Steve, I never told Faith about this until about a year ao. It would not have been productive to unnerve Faith about a friend so early in her school career. Only reason I told her last year was because I witnessed Rachel uncaringly betray another friend for her own personal gain. I was then I let Faith know how I had always felt about Rachel.
My daughter should be ecstatically looking forward to a terrific last summer before college. Instead, she is sticking close to home because she believes she has been humiliated in front of her friends by someone she always trusted would be watching her back. Of course, we who are older and wiser know that before long everyone will now what happened. They will all make their own judgement call and human nature dictates that the humiliation will not fall upon Faith. Having never experienced such a thing, she does not know this yet.
I am angry about it, I confess, but I have decided not to dwell on that. Instead, I shall focus my energies on watching how she handles it. I bet she'll be awesome. How hard it is to stand back and let them deal with life's hurts when what we really want to do is fix it for them so that nothing will ever hurt them...
All for now...
CM
She'd had a crush on this young man for quite some time and was very excited that he had finally asked her out. I well remember the feeling.
In spite of the notion that it is hip and trendy for young men and women to meet at their date destination, Faith's father and I have different ideas. He came to the house to pick her up. Everyone commented, after they left, on how nice he seemed. Well everyone except me; I remained mostly quiet until Steve and I were alone. "He seems nice enough," I said, "but my radar went off like gangbusters. Bells and whistles - the whole kaboodle. I got an uncomfortable vibe from him. I'm not saying I don't like him, just that I am going to keep my eyes and ears open where he is concerned."
Steve nodded acknowledgement of my feelings. We've been together long enough for him to know that I have a keen instinct about people. Discernment. In truth, I have never been wrong when it comes to my sense of a person. It does not often happen that I do not like someone, but when it does happen, it's powerful. I have never abused it and Steve learned, years ago, to trust and pay due attention when this happens. That said, he did ask me to refrain from speaking to Faith just yet. I agreed with him seeing the wisdom in allowing her to learn to to trust her own developing sense of people in the adult world.
On Thursday, she and I were conversing while I was preparing dinner. She'd come in to to say hi after having been out all day with her friends. As the discussion progressed to "Radar", she got a dreamy-eyed look on her face that sent a cold chill up my spine.
"Faith," I started, knowing full well that I was going against the agreement I had made with Steve to stay out of it. "I am not so sure about this guy. I can't put my finger on it, darling, but he set my radar off. Every alarm I have was reacting to him the entire time he was here. Please be careful around him." I tried to be matter-of-fact. What I really wanted to say was... Well, if you are a parent, you already know; if you are not a parent, you will not understand.
"You don't like him, Mom?" She looked honestly distressed at the thought I might not like this young man.
"It's not that I don't like him..." I tried to explain myself without stomping on her teenage heart by telling her the real truth, which was that I felt a sense that he did not maintain a trustworthy character. Besides, I was beginning to become concerned over how I was going to tell Steve I had gone back on my word. As I continued, I tried to make light of it. "More like I feel uncomfortable for some reason. Look, I am not suggesting you don't see him, only that you promise me you will keep your eyes wide open where he is concerned. Will you promise me that?"
She agreed with a smile and a hug as she reassured me he was a great guy and she knew I was saying this because I loved her. She then went on to remind me that I met her father in High School and we had our ups and downs in the beginning. I think it was supposed to be comforting. But I was not comforted; I just knew I was right about this guy. Frankly, her comparing him to her father made me want to scream! But I didn't. I smiled.
When Steve came home, I told him what I had done and, thank God, he said he was glad. The more he'd thought about it, the more he realized he had noticed a thing or two about Radar that he did not like as well. Before the evening had ended, Michael stopped in for a brief visit and he said that he too had processed a weird vibe from his sister's big date. And we let her leave with this guy??
Yesterday, I was unloading groceries from the car when Faith rang my cell. "Mom, I just wanted to tell you that you were right."
I knew immediately that she was not alone and that she was speaking of that young man. "About Radar?" I asked just to confirm, not so much what she was talking about as much as my sense that she was not alone.
"Uh, yeah. You were right... about a lot of things." She was clearly upset but her voice was too calm for me to be concerned that she was in any danger, though I have to admit that the sentence addendum had me perplexed.
Still, I had to ask, "I get the feeling that you are not alone, Faith; do you want your father or your brothers to come to where you are?"
Thankfully, she giggled. "No, Mom. I am fine; just a little stung and kind of embarrassed in front of my friends. I am going to Amelia's for a while to talk it out with her, but I'll call you in a little while to tell you about it. Right now, everyone is here and I don't want to be on the phone with my mom. You understand, right?"
My turn to giggle. "I was young once, m'dear; of course I understand. As long as you are all right."
Later she phoned me to say she wanted to stay at Amelia's overnight. I agreed and told her I would run interference with her father for her. As she explained the issue to me, it seems that all the while Radar and Faith had been dating so publically, including attending their Prom, Radar had been secretly seeing Faith's very close, longtime friend, Rachel. Faith told me that, until now, she has only been crushing on Radar; there had not been enough time for it to have become all that serious. What hurt her terribly was the betrayal by her longtime girlfriend. That was what she meant when she said I had been right about a lot of things. Of all her friends, Rachel has always been my least favorite. You guesed it; from the first time Rachel came to our home, 6 years ago, there was something about her that simply did not sit right with me. I never fully trusted her. While I had, at the time, shared my feelings with Steve, I never told Faith about this until about a year ao. It would not have been productive to unnerve Faith about a friend so early in her school career. Only reason I told her last year was because I witnessed Rachel uncaringly betray another friend for her own personal gain. I was then I let Faith know how I had always felt about Rachel.
My daughter should be ecstatically looking forward to a terrific last summer before college. Instead, she is sticking close to home because she believes she has been humiliated in front of her friends by someone she always trusted would be watching her back. Of course, we who are older and wiser know that before long everyone will now what happened. They will all make their own judgement call and human nature dictates that the humiliation will not fall upon Faith. Having never experienced such a thing, she does not know this yet.
I am angry about it, I confess, but I have decided not to dwell on that. Instead, I shall focus my energies on watching how she handles it. I bet she'll be awesome. How hard it is to stand back and let them deal with life's hurts when what we really want to do is fix it for them so that nothing will ever hurt them...
All for now...
CM
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
JUST A GAME?
MY TWO CENTS ON THE FOOTBALL DEBACLE:
(On May 13th at Brammel Lane in Sheffield, England, the home team, nicknamed The Blades, were unjustly robbed of their Premier Status when they were beaten by West Ham. This loss was particularly painful for all football (soccer to Americans) fans because West Ham had illegally signed two of its players, one of whom made the winning goal. For this, WH were merely chastised with what could only be referred to as a token fine, but not charged any points. This made it possible for them to steal Premiership by this win and drive Sheffield United aka The Blades into Relegation.)
What happened in Sheffield on May 13th remains completely unacceptable. I have no idea how or why things went the way they did, and I will not opine about it here. What I do know is that it was grossly unfair, unjust, and utterly ill advised.
This is as good a point as any for me to go on the record and say that I am appalled by the way the Blades gallant fight for justice is being received by the media. All this chatter about their visit to Parliament today being an act of desperation is irresponsible. Shame on these reporters for their blatant favoritism and their poor journalism. For heavens sake! The Blades are not asking for something that isn't rightfully theirs. No one is asking for a free ride! They are seeking fairness.
Michael Palin (of Monty Python fame) said it best: "I heartily support ... all those who feel strongly that the arbitration panel should re-consider the decision on West Ham's punishment. A fine makes precious little difference to a club like West Ham, and a points deduction would have not only matched the crime, but have been a just encouragement for all those clubs, who, like Sheffield United, have played fair. To let the current judgement stand makes everyone involved look as if they don't really care."
As Sean Bean expresses his feelings about it in this video, the Sheffield United administrators did everything right in adherence of the rules. It's reasonable that they now feel as though they are being punished while the team who ruthlessly disregarded those same rules (Sorry, I call 'em as I see 'em) are receiving accolades and remuneration. In short, West Ham's bad form is being rewarded by Premiership Status which means, lest we forget, millions upon millions of dollars for them. Well, it sems to me that Mr. Bean is absolutely right. Hey! You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool this ol' Jersey-girl - ever!.
Do the Powers-that-be really want to leave this door open?
Really?
Do they?
And pardon me for asking, but don't the West Ham fans feel cheated? Aren't they ashamed that the team they so faithfully support has mocked them by playing so underhanded a card? I would be furious with West Ham administrators for this!
Okay, I had better stop; my temper is flaring a bit too much... It's just so completely wrong! This whole thing should never have happened.
Steve and I have discussed this a lot and we both feel that if we were in the UK, we very likely would have somehow taken part in the Blades' crusade today, even if all we did was show up and hand out coffee. It's not that we are necessarily Blades fans, mind you, but we are indeed football fans! To be frank, I am at a complete loss to comprehend how anyone who is a true fan of the game could not side with Sheffield United in this fight. I admire the daylights out of Sean Bean and everyone who accompanied him today. They are doing the right thing. I can only hope their words have not fallen upon deaf ears.
(I'll interject here that this game on the 13th between Sheffield United and West Ham was the last one Steve and his dad watched together via telephone - on opposite sides of the pond. It was later that very evening his father passed away. (See my 5.15 post: A Little Bit of Rain) Steve has actually been distracted from his grief a bit by this whole thing and has even stated that he is glad his father is not here to see this happening to football.)
Okay, here is the video of which I wrote a few paragraphs up:
SEAN BEAN SPEAKS OUT...
If I am to be completely honest, I cannot pretend to have been a longtime fan of Mr. Bean's... Well, in my defense, I hadn't heard of him until a few months ago, but he gets A's in my book for today's action. I like him and I admire him. His heart is clearly in this. Sean Bean, unlike so many others who have chosen to remain on the sidelines and keep quiet, will be able to sleep tonight knowing he did everything he could to change things. How can anyone fail to admire that?
It's not difficult to see he is emotional about this situation. He looks away from the interviewer most of the time; he repeats himself; and he is constrained, like someone holding himself back. And why wouldn't he be emotional? Is there anyone alive who has never experienced the heartbreaking torment of watching his or her team suffer a significant loss or sacrifice an important title. Can anyone deny, then, that it must be unbearable to experience watching them lose in such a dreadfully unjust manner. His anger, like that of all Blades fans, must be eating him alive!
Sheffield United were robbed, plain and simple. Justice must be done here. Now, whether or not they will actually receive their Premiership Status again, I do not quite understand - and no matter how Steve tries to explain it to me, I am not grasping it.
I'll close by stating the obvious ...and the heartfelt. For Sheffield United, it's all about their status and the money it will bring to them; I realize that. For me, it's about justice and the integrity of the game. Our son plays football and dreams of playing professionally one day. It's no wonder, therefore, that maintaining the integrity of the game is significant to us. I believe an example must be made of West Ham. I hope and indeed pray that those who have the power to set this right will be unmercifully hard on West Ham - to be sure this does not become a yearly fight. The time to set the correct precedent is now.
Oh, how I hope the high road, in this case, will not be the one less traveled!
We shall see.
Until the 18th we are
Waiting patiently... and passionately,
Carol
(On May 13th at Brammel Lane in Sheffield, England, the home team, nicknamed The Blades, were unjustly robbed of their Premier Status when they were beaten by West Ham. This loss was particularly painful for all football (soccer to Americans) fans because West Ham had illegally signed two of its players, one of whom made the winning goal. For this, WH were merely chastised with what could only be referred to as a token fine, but not charged any points. This made it possible for them to steal Premiership by this win and drive Sheffield United aka The Blades into Relegation.)
What happened in Sheffield on May 13th remains completely unacceptable. I have no idea how or why things went the way they did, and I will not opine about it here. What I do know is that it was grossly unfair, unjust, and utterly ill advised.
This is as good a point as any for me to go on the record and say that I am appalled by the way the Blades gallant fight for justice is being received by the media. All this chatter about their visit to Parliament today being an act of desperation is irresponsible. Shame on these reporters for their blatant favoritism and their poor journalism. For heavens sake! The Blades are not asking for something that isn't rightfully theirs. No one is asking for a free ride! They are seeking fairness.
Michael Palin (of Monty Python fame) said it best: "I heartily support ... all those who feel strongly that the arbitration panel should re-consider the decision on West Ham's punishment. A fine makes precious little difference to a club like West Ham, and a points deduction would have not only matched the crime, but have been a just encouragement for all those clubs, who, like Sheffield United, have played fair. To let the current judgement stand makes everyone involved look as if they don't really care."
As Sean Bean expresses his feelings about it in this video, the Sheffield United administrators did everything right in adherence of the rules. It's reasonable that they now feel as though they are being punished while the team who ruthlessly disregarded those same rules (Sorry, I call 'em as I see 'em) are receiving accolades and remuneration. In short, West Ham's bad form is being rewarded by Premiership Status which means, lest we forget, millions upon millions of dollars for them. Well, it sems to me that Mr. Bean is absolutely right. Hey! You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool this ol' Jersey-girl - ever!.
Do the Powers-that-be really want to leave this door open?
Really?
Do they?
And pardon me for asking, but don't the West Ham fans feel cheated? Aren't they ashamed that the team they so faithfully support has mocked them by playing so underhanded a card? I would be furious with West Ham administrators for this!
Okay, I had better stop; my temper is flaring a bit too much... It's just so completely wrong! This whole thing should never have happened.
Steve and I have discussed this a lot and we both feel that if we were in the UK, we very likely would have somehow taken part in the Blades' crusade today, even if all we did was show up and hand out coffee. It's not that we are necessarily Blades fans, mind you, but we are indeed football fans! To be frank, I am at a complete loss to comprehend how anyone who is a true fan of the game could not side with Sheffield United in this fight. I admire the daylights out of Sean Bean and everyone who accompanied him today. They are doing the right thing. I can only hope their words have not fallen upon deaf ears.
(I'll interject here that this game on the 13th between Sheffield United and West Ham was the last one Steve and his dad watched together via telephone - on opposite sides of the pond. It was later that very evening his father passed away. (See my 5.15 post: A Little Bit of Rain) Steve has actually been distracted from his grief a bit by this whole thing and has even stated that he is glad his father is not here to see this happening to football.)
Okay, here is the video of which I wrote a few paragraphs up:
SEAN BEAN SPEAKS OUT...
If I am to be completely honest, I cannot pretend to have been a longtime fan of Mr. Bean's... Well, in my defense, I hadn't heard of him until a few months ago, but he gets A's in my book for today's action. I like him and I admire him. His heart is clearly in this. Sean Bean, unlike so many others who have chosen to remain on the sidelines and keep quiet, will be able to sleep tonight knowing he did everything he could to change things. How can anyone fail to admire that?
It's not difficult to see he is emotional about this situation. He looks away from the interviewer most of the time; he repeats himself; and he is constrained, like someone holding himself back. And why wouldn't he be emotional? Is there anyone alive who has never experienced the heartbreaking torment of watching his or her team suffer a significant loss or sacrifice an important title. Can anyone deny, then, that it must be unbearable to experience watching them lose in such a dreadfully unjust manner. His anger, like that of all Blades fans, must be eating him alive!
Sheffield United were robbed, plain and simple. Justice must be done here. Now, whether or not they will actually receive their Premiership Status again, I do not quite understand - and no matter how Steve tries to explain it to me, I am not grasping it.
I'll close by stating the obvious ...and the heartfelt. For Sheffield United, it's all about their status and the money it will bring to them; I realize that. For me, it's about justice and the integrity of the game. Our son plays football and dreams of playing professionally one day. It's no wonder, therefore, that maintaining the integrity of the game is significant to us. I believe an example must be made of West Ham. I hope and indeed pray that those who have the power to set this right will be unmercifully hard on West Ham - to be sure this does not become a yearly fight. The time to set the correct precedent is now.
Oh, how I hope the high road, in this case, will not be the one less traveled!
We shall see.
Until the 18th we are
Waiting patiently... and passionately,
Carol
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
PUT ON A HAPPY FACE!
Mother in Law is going home today. We're all a bit sad to see her go, even more sad thinking of the heartbreak that awaits her when she arrives at home in Edinburgh to face resumption of her life without her husband of 54 years.
Father in Law passed away on May 13th. Seems like forever ago, now; we've all been so busy since then. Rushing to Scotland to be with the family and assist in the planning and decision making. Bringing Mother home with us to birthdays, graduations, end of school-year activities, recitals, concerts, award programs and the like. It's been a whirlwind of a time and she has been remarkable. Her utter joy at the sight of her grandchildren is palpable, I dare say downright contagious and she lets nothing, not even her broken heart, interfere with her time with them. How I admire her and aspire to be like her!
Indeed, she is such an inspiration to everyone. Only a wee bit of tears now and then. She tried so hard to be strong and has been more than successful in front of Steve and the kids. When she and I would find ourselves alone together, she did occasionally allow herself the luxury of tearful reflection. How my heart aches for her. For what she is now facing.
I have decided to share a little something one of the kids found and showed to her while she was here that tickled her fancy and made her giggle. Perhaps it will lift your spirits, too.
CM
Father in Law passed away on May 13th. Seems like forever ago, now; we've all been so busy since then. Rushing to Scotland to be with the family and assist in the planning and decision making. Bringing Mother home with us to birthdays, graduations, end of school-year activities, recitals, concerts, award programs and the like. It's been a whirlwind of a time and she has been remarkable. Her utter joy at the sight of her grandchildren is palpable, I dare say downright contagious and she lets nothing, not even her broken heart, interfere with her time with them. How I admire her and aspire to be like her!
Indeed, she is such an inspiration to everyone. Only a wee bit of tears now and then. She tried so hard to be strong and has been more than successful in front of Steve and the kids. When she and I would find ourselves alone together, she did occasionally allow herself the luxury of tearful reflection. How my heart aches for her. For what she is now facing.
I have decided to share a little something one of the kids found and showed to her while she was here that tickled her fancy and made her giggle. Perhaps it will lift your spirits, too.
CM
Monday, June 11, 2007
CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH...
...of Sir Ian McKellen! How I adore him!
Set in 1930-something Facist Britian, here he is performing in RICHARD III. "Was ever woman in this humor wooed?" Menacing Jazz accompaniment, eh?
Email me with your favorite adaptation of R-III.
CM
CREDIT for the YOUTUBE catch goes to YOUTUBE Artist: abuhmeid.
Set in 1930-something Facist Britian, here he is performing in RICHARD III. "Was ever woman in this humor wooed?" Menacing Jazz accompaniment, eh?
Email me with your favorite adaptation of R-III.
CM
CREDIT for the YOUTUBE catch goes to YOUTUBE Artist: abuhmeid.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
SUMMER! YEAH!
Yesterday was Christina's first day of Summer! No school! Yeah!
My friend, Andrea, and her daughter, Morgan, who attends school with Christina, wisely thought of this terrific idea to make it extra special. What they did was suggest we have a day of outing activities with the two girls and that they each invite a favorite pal from school so that they have a foursome.
Originally, we'd planned to have lunch, go to a local Beading Craft Shop to design and make some fabulous jewelry, and top off the day with a movie. The girls all wanted to see NANCY DREW but it will not be released until the 15th so we'd planned to see SHREK 3. The girls jumped on that like white on rice and each made their buddy selection. Morgan chose Katrina and Christina chose Maggie. Perfect.
Morgan had a Horseback Riding Lesson until noon, so Christina and I picked up Katrina and Maggie and hotfooted it to meet up with Morgan and her mom while the three girls in the back seat could barely contain themselves! How I love this age when seeing each other is an event that calls for screeching and hugging as though they haven't seen one another in ages. (It had not even been 24 hours since they tearfully bid each other a good summer.)
Katrina had another outing planned with her father later in the afternoon and he needed her home by 4:30, so what we did was alter the plans to accommodate that and try to fit everything in. Skipping dessert at lunch and planning a side trip to a local Coldstone Creamery after the movie seemed to adjust the time block perfectly and we were off and running.
Lunch was an absolute blast. The conversation between the four 9 year olds kept Andrea and I thoroughly entertained, the food was positively scrumptious and the location was within walking distance to the theater, but we drove so that when the theater let out, we could high tail it to the beading activity! We'd made a slight error in the movie planning as SHREK 3 was not to be in the theater until the weekend, but we quickly adjusted the plan to see SURF'S UP instead. Thanks goodness for the double entendre! Andrea and I were killing ourselves laughing, as were the children, albeit at different things! Suffice it to say that a wonderful, fun time was definitely had by all. (In short, if you fear being bored when taking your little ones to see this one, dump those worries right now; you'll like it!)
The girls and I (concession... er, I mean, confession time) loaded up on snacks which eliminated the need to visit the Coldstone Creamery.
So the movie was a great success and then it was on to the Beading Place. Can I tell you now how incredibly artistic and talented our girls are! All four of them! They each selected their beads and decided upon the lengths, organized their designs, and had their necklaces and bracelets done lickity split! It was seriously impressive.
Andrea and I shot each other a we survived that, it was actually quite fun look and thought it was finished when we dropped Katrina off to her father at exactly 4:30 as promised. The girls had other ideas. We tried to stifle our giggles as we heard them meekly conspiring in the back seat. Before long, they asked ever so sweetly if they could go to the local playground for a while and we had, after all, been indoors for most of the day, escaping the 90 degree heat, so we went along with them saying it would be fine. Andrea had to beg off as she had to collect her wee one and I took the girls to play for an hour.
A lovely, busy, fun first day of summer!
We've already decided to take them all to see NANCY DREW on the 15th!
I'm ready today for the Graduation...
Starts at 11...
Faith is Valedictorian...
Should be awesome...
All for now.
CM
My friend, Andrea, and her daughter, Morgan, who attends school with Christina, wisely thought of this terrific idea to make it extra special. What they did was suggest we have a day of outing activities with the two girls and that they each invite a favorite pal from school so that they have a foursome.
Originally, we'd planned to have lunch, go to a local Beading Craft Shop to design and make some fabulous jewelry, and top off the day with a movie. The girls all wanted to see NANCY DREW but it will not be released until the 15th so we'd planned to see SHREK 3. The girls jumped on that like white on rice and each made their buddy selection. Morgan chose Katrina and Christina chose Maggie. Perfect.
Morgan had a Horseback Riding Lesson until noon, so Christina and I picked up Katrina and Maggie and hotfooted it to meet up with Morgan and her mom while the three girls in the back seat could barely contain themselves! How I love this age when seeing each other is an event that calls for screeching and hugging as though they haven't seen one another in ages. (It had not even been 24 hours since they tearfully bid each other a good summer.)
Katrina had another outing planned with her father later in the afternoon and he needed her home by 4:30, so what we did was alter the plans to accommodate that and try to fit everything in. Skipping dessert at lunch and planning a side trip to a local Coldstone Creamery after the movie seemed to adjust the time block perfectly and we were off and running.
Lunch was an absolute blast. The conversation between the four 9 year olds kept Andrea and I thoroughly entertained, the food was positively scrumptious and the location was within walking distance to the theater, but we drove so that when the theater let out, we could high tail it to the beading activity! We'd made a slight error in the movie planning as SHREK 3 was not to be in the theater until the weekend, but we quickly adjusted the plan to see SURF'S UP instead. Thanks goodness for the double entendre! Andrea and I were killing ourselves laughing, as were the children, albeit at different things! Suffice it to say that a wonderful, fun time was definitely had by all. (In short, if you fear being bored when taking your little ones to see this one, dump those worries right now; you'll like it!)
The girls and I (concession... er, I mean, confession time) loaded up on snacks which eliminated the need to visit the Coldstone Creamery.
So the movie was a great success and then it was on to the Beading Place. Can I tell you now how incredibly artistic and talented our girls are! All four of them! They each selected their beads and decided upon the lengths, organized their designs, and had their necklaces and bracelets done lickity split! It was seriously impressive.
Andrea and I shot each other a we survived that, it was actually quite fun look and thought it was finished when we dropped Katrina off to her father at exactly 4:30 as promised. The girls had other ideas. We tried to stifle our giggles as we heard them meekly conspiring in the back seat. Before long, they asked ever so sweetly if they could go to the local playground for a while and we had, after all, been indoors for most of the day, escaping the 90 degree heat, so we went along with them saying it would be fine. Andrea had to beg off as she had to collect her wee one and I took the girls to play for an hour.
A lovely, busy, fun first day of summer!
We've already decided to take them all to see NANCY DREW on the 15th!
I'm ready today for the Graduation...
Starts at 11...
Faith is Valedictorian...
Should be awesome...
All for now.
CM
Monday, June 4, 2007
LIKE ART?
We are still dealing with the seasonal Graduations, Weddings, End of School Concerts, Recitals and Picnics... Not much time to write for fun or profit! Additionally, Steve is grieving deeply over the loss of his father.
This caught my eye this morning and made me smile. I share it with you now.
It is Entitled: 500 Years of Female Portraits in Western Art
Credit and ESTEEM goes to: YouTube Artist: Eggman913
I hope that made your day as it has made mine...
Love,
Carol
This caught my eye this morning and made me smile. I share it with you now.
It is Entitled: 500 Years of Female Portraits in Western Art
Credit and ESTEEM goes to: YouTube Artist: Eggman913
I hope that made your day as it has made mine...
Love,
Carol
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